devil_bitch

Whenever I tend to have a moment of happiness and hope, something happens and my world changes back to darkness. Everytime I try to fill the emptiness it all ends horribly wrong. I don't understand. I don't think that I will ever understand. I give up on love, on romance, and all of that shit. I try so hard to believe that it really does exist but I always get shit on. Fuck it.

The last person I gave my heart too broke it into a 1,000 pieces and then jumped up and down on it for fun. Worse than that he still considers me a good friend and still tries to fuck me every chance he can get. Nevermind the fact that he now lives in another state and is engaged to someone who obviuosly is not me.

Then of course I try to beleive in love... hell just to like someone with a good heart and have them like me back. I would be happy with that right now. Someone I can trust to be good to me. Ha! Yeah Right.

Yes I am being very fucking Emo right now and perhaps a little psycho but damnit I can't help it. Why can't it just work out the right way for once? I am so god damn confused. I don't know what is going on. Whatever. I always do this to myself. I think way too much.

Now is the time to listen to The Cure and cry. Yeah I'm uber goth.

The Cure-39 Lyrics

so the fire is almost out and there's nothing left to burn
i've run right out of thoughts and i've run right out of words
as i used them up, i used them up...

yeah the fire is almost cold and there's nothing left to burn
i've run right out of feeling and i've run right out of world
and everything i promised, and everything i tried
yeah everything i ever did i used to feed the fire

i used to feed the fire
i used to feed the fire
i used to feed the fire
but the fire is almost out is almost out...
and there's nothing left to burn
no there's nothing left to burn
not even this...
and the fire is almost dead and there's nothing left to burn
i've finished everything...
and all the things i promised, and all the things i tried
yeah all the things i ever dreamed i used to feed the fire

i used to feed the fire
i used to feed the fire
i used to feed the fire
but the fire is almost out...

half my life i've been here
half my life in flames
using all i ever had to keep the fire ablaze
to keep the fire ablaze
to keep the fire ablaze
to keep the fire ablaze...
but there's nothing left to burn
no there's nothing left to burn
and the fire is almost out
there fire is almost out
almost out, almost out
almost out, almost out...

and there's nothing left to burn