okay, i have to tell you all about this because i think it's hilarious.
a few months back i met a great girl and it seemed like things were going really good between us, then one night the shit hit the fan (i won't bore you with details) and everything pretty much ended. a few days later i came back to her, shouldered ALL of the blame, and things were/are good between us. as a sign of our rekindled friendship she used the spare key i'd given her to come into my apartment one day while i was at work, and made my bed
sweet hunh? okay, something you should know about her: she is pentacostal, (sp?) as is the rest of her family, and her father is a high-up in the church, he occassionally gives the sermens. okay, now that you've read all that, this is why it's so funny: i get home from work and first find an envelope with the spare key in it taped to the front door (thank god no stranger found it first). i get to the top of my stairs and can see into my bedroom where i see my bed has been made. at this point i'm feeling all good again. so i go into my bedroom, and not only has she made my bed, she has left me a little teddybear wearing a hoody (which i named "poe") on my pillow. by now i'm just glowing at the gesture. and then my eyes go from the smiling teddybear to the dvd on the floor beside my bed which has a woman spreading (yes, it's a porno). horror begins to fill me as i look from the porn dvd, to the second porn dvd beside it, and the third beside that one!! then of course the sudden shock/fear fades and the humor of it all shows through and i just burst into laughter. but i'm afraid of the traumatic affect it may have on her so i email an explanation to her about how at work when a customer reports a movie is not working we have to check it, and if possible fix it, but when a porn is reported faulty there's no way we can just pop it in infront of all the children and families renting so we have to bring it home and check it (all of which is TRUE, though in this case i had just brought home some porn to watch ) so, up to this point i already think it's funny, then i get her emailed reply and it just gets better. it turns out that she had convinced her sister (also a bible-thumper) to accompany her to my apartment. then, while making my bed she found the first disc and picked it up, curiosity killing her and found the following title "International Ass Models"!! with a rather obviously pornographic photo on it. not sure of what it was she showed her sister and asked "what is this?" her sister (who is 5 years YOUNGER than her = 16 yrs old) tells her, "um...that's a porno." she of course set the dvd back where it was (VERY quickly) and of course, sees the other two also obviously pornographic dvds and goes back to making my bed. by now she is so disgusted and worried of what else she may find that they've decided anything else they were going to do aside from making my bed will NOT be done. according to her they found the movies, made my bed as fast as they could and got the hell out of my apartment leaving the key taped to my front door!!! is it just me or is that like one of the funniest things to have happen?!! i can gaurantee after that she'll never have "feelings" for me!! damn that's funny - i don't care who you are that right there is funny!
well, sorry about the long ass story but i just had to tell it. that was a few months ago and i still laugh whenever i think about it. i even told my parents and they just burst into laughter too. okay, i'll shut up now. i hope all is well in the world of suicide. g'night all.
~deviant
a few months back i met a great girl and it seemed like things were going really good between us, then one night the shit hit the fan (i won't bore you with details) and everything pretty much ended. a few days later i came back to her, shouldered ALL of the blame, and things were/are good between us. as a sign of our rekindled friendship she used the spare key i'd given her to come into my apartment one day while i was at work, and made my bed
sweet hunh? okay, something you should know about her: she is pentacostal, (sp?) as is the rest of her family, and her father is a high-up in the church, he occassionally gives the sermens. okay, now that you've read all that, this is why it's so funny: i get home from work and first find an envelope with the spare key in it taped to the front door (thank god no stranger found it first). i get to the top of my stairs and can see into my bedroom where i see my bed has been made. at this point i'm feeling all good again. so i go into my bedroom, and not only has she made my bed, she has left me a little teddybear wearing a hoody (which i named "poe") on my pillow. by now i'm just glowing at the gesture. and then my eyes go from the smiling teddybear to the dvd on the floor beside my bed which has a woman spreading (yes, it's a porno). horror begins to fill me as i look from the porn dvd, to the second porn dvd beside it, and the third beside that one!! then of course the sudden shock/fear fades and the humor of it all shows through and i just burst into laughter. but i'm afraid of the traumatic affect it may have on her so i email an explanation to her about how at work when a customer reports a movie is not working we have to check it, and if possible fix it, but when a porn is reported faulty there's no way we can just pop it in infront of all the children and families renting so we have to bring it home and check it (all of which is TRUE, though in this case i had just brought home some porn to watch ) so, up to this point i already think it's funny, then i get her emailed reply and it just gets better. it turns out that she had convinced her sister (also a bible-thumper) to accompany her to my apartment. then, while making my bed she found the first disc and picked it up, curiosity killing her and found the following title "International Ass Models"!! with a rather obviously pornographic photo on it. not sure of what it was she showed her sister and asked "what is this?" her sister (who is 5 years YOUNGER than her = 16 yrs old) tells her, "um...that's a porno." she of course set the dvd back where it was (VERY quickly) and of course, sees the other two also obviously pornographic dvds and goes back to making my bed. by now she is so disgusted and worried of what else she may find that they've decided anything else they were going to do aside from making my bed will NOT be done. according to her they found the movies, made my bed as fast as they could and got the hell out of my apartment leaving the key taped to my front door!!! is it just me or is that like one of the funniest things to have happen?!! i can gaurantee after that she'll never have "feelings" for me!! damn that's funny - i don't care who you are that right there is funny!
well, sorry about the long ass story but i just had to tell it. that was a few months ago and i still laugh whenever i think about it. i even told my parents and they just burst into laughter too. okay, i'll shut up now. i hope all is well in the world of suicide. g'night all.
~deviant
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Ah man, you're better off not having to deal with that shit anyway. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life trying to deal with an adult who can't even stand the sight of porn? I just don't get some people.
Anywho, take it easy man.
Peace.
-Josh