deviance191x

i will not be:

i will not be your hidden obsession, the one that makes you close your eyes as you breathe in the deep scent of the perfume i left on your pillow from the night before. why is it that the only thing you remember is when i'm not around.

i will not be your broken promise, the one that you kept telling yourself you would be with forever...but never actually made it past a month.
you kno what? i'm not even sure i wanted to be your only.

i will not be your unsatiable dream, the one that only eyes can glaze over but you won't even approach because you're too afraid to let words drift off your gentle lips. too afraid that i won't accept you, you fucking loser.

you will not be:

you will not be my fuck-up, the one that makes me scream at while tears pour down my face smearing my makeup. i never really cared if you were the one to blame or not.

you will not be my dying kiss, the one that's lost it's sparkle, but only time can keep. i don't think a kiss can die if you don't even want to brush lips at all.

you will not be a mistake, the one that makes me tear my hair out as i beat my hands upon the ground. i hate you sometimes, i fucking hate you sometimes.

i will be:

i will be tempermental, the one that changes emotion first is always the one that should give in. yes i'm a bitch get over it, you're no better.

i will be open minded, the one that will leave you for a night out with her friends. i'm sorry that it was your birthday, you went out of town for mine too. payback is a bitch isn't it?

i will be domineering, the one that occasionally tells you not to go somewhere or do something. i'm sorry that i don't want you fucking my friends, really, you whore.

you will be:

you will be the one who hangs up the phone first, the one that hates empty good-byes. fuck, you can't even say good-bye you just hang up.

you will be violent, throwing my body against the bed as you scream empty anger. waving your hands in my face like you're going to hit me. you might as well, because i'll never listen anyway...

you will be an illusion, the one that fades with time, but always seems to appear when everything seems distempered. you only care when i don't, and you only care if it hurts you.

we will be:

we will be forever, the couple that never fades and always ends up kissing in the end.

we will be love, the couple that promises the world and would do anything to keep it that way. i breathe you in as you breathe me in.

we will be everything, the one that means the world to each other.

maybe i am really the illusion....in an imperfect world...only love makes sense, however also in this world...love is the illusion, and the rest just creates an unrealistic impression in the sand of life. there is no love in a world that exists only on emptiness and sorrow. what is love? and what is sorry? is emptiness love? and is life an endless battle searching, breathing in, denying everything that means something to someone?

in a life that denies everything that seems beautiful, but emphasizes everything that is wrong...can love be prevelent? or is it really just words spoken that are supposed to have meaning?

breathing isn't easy when a life is torn and nothing seems real...

love is all i have...but what if it isn't anything that's real? my life is an illusion. i am an illusion. who am i? better yet...who are you?

-->deviance