HeY!! there is nothing wrong with being afraid of chickens! i mean seriously 
look at that! fucking birds of evil, BiRdS oF EvIl!
no, seriously, okay well probably yes seriously. yes i AM afraid of chickens, but i don't mean that i look at a chicken and my eyes widen and i walk away. By being afraid of chickens i mean, with all honesty that i suffer from what is referred to as ALEKTROPHOBIA, or fear of chickens.
basically what this means my knees lock and i hyperventilate, eventually passing out if held in the situation for too long.
so the question is how? *shhh* it's a secret, but it all started when i was really young.
*yay flashbacks lol*
when i was younger my parents used to take me to my grandmothers farm. she had all kinds of animals there. sheep, cows, bunnies, you get the general idea.
anyway, while i was 8, my parents decided that they had to visit (as i refer to her) the antichrist's domain, and for some reason they dubbed me responsivble for collecting the eggs in the morning.
one morning while gathering the birds of evil's babies, my brother thought it would be funny if he threw rocks at the side of the chicken coup and accidently threw one thru the window and pegged a chicken in the head. ALL the other chickens freaked out and got up and started going crazy rushing to get out of the coup as fast as their little chicken legs could carry them out the opening.
one problem,
i was standing in their way, so they rushed and scrambled and clawed and bit their way thru me like there was no tomorrow. frightened, i turned around and tripped hitting my head on the ledge that the chickens sat on and knocked myself unconscious. (this is what i was told, i don't really remember that part all that well).
needless to say, when i awoke from my painful slumber, there were three newly executed chickens dangling directly out my window. their heads had been removed and the blood dripping into buckets thrown under their bodies. i freaked out and wide-eyed passed out again because it scared the shit out my little 8 year old body.
not THAT in itself would tramatize anyone, let alone an eight year old child.
but it gets better, it doesn't even stop there.
feeling uncomfortable with the idea of of going near a chicken let alone looking at a chicken, i was relieved of my son of satan collecting duties (satan of course being the alleged :bok
but that didn't mean that they were going to leave me alone.
two days after the initial incidence of chicken-ness, i came face to face with the "top dog" of the chicken coup (aka the rooster) whom was called bully, because he had a tendency to attack passerbys. when i saw him my knees locked and he immediatly took charge knocking me over and clawing at my face. my father had to run and knock him off of me, pick me up and carry my shaking body away from there.
and it still doesn't stop.
because my parents thought that i was being stupid and pathetic, seeing as to how i didn't physically remember from experience being attacked by the chickens the first time, they decided, upon the request of the antichrist (grandmother) that i help in the killing of our dinner for the night.
i pleaded but eventually figured that it couldn't be THAT hard to HELP hold a chicken down so my grandma could cut off it's head. boi was i wrong!
when the time came and i went to hold the my grandma, i was really uneasy and looked almost faint, but relunctantly i closed my eyes and walked over to where the chicken was put my hands on it and helped my grandma hold the beast down.
as she lowered the knife i swear to god i heard it scream and as she lobbed off it's head i let go out of reflex and the chicken momentarily "ran after me." now maybe it was because of the state of panic i had entered, or maybe it was the fact that i was already hyperventilating, or quite possibly it really happened because my gandmother HAD cut it's head off above the vocal chords, but i swear on everthing that i heard that chicken still boking at me, and then as it came after me i hit the floor.
to this day, i can not go within twenty feet of a chicken without my knees locking and eventually panicing and passing out.
i have friends whom have chicken coups and i have to walk around his house to avoid them, or i won't actually end up showing up at his door. he had a chicken out in his lawn once and i just went back home, and he lives a good 10 min away from my house driving, so you could imagine walking to his house and then walking back home.
maybe i'm a freak, or stupid but if i see a i'm running in the other direction.
and that is my story
-->deviance
look at that! fucking birds of evil, BiRdS oF EvIl!
no, seriously, okay well probably yes seriously. yes i AM afraid of chickens, but i don't mean that i look at a chicken and my eyes widen and i walk away. By being afraid of chickens i mean, with all honesty that i suffer from what is referred to as ALEKTROPHOBIA, or fear of chickens.
basically what this means my knees lock and i hyperventilate, eventually passing out if held in the situation for too long.
so the question is how? *shhh* it's a secret, but it all started when i was really young.
*yay flashbacks lol*
when i was younger my parents used to take me to my grandmothers farm. she had all kinds of animals there. sheep, cows, bunnies, you get the general idea.
anyway, while i was 8, my parents decided that they had to visit (as i refer to her) the antichrist's domain, and for some reason they dubbed me responsivble for collecting the eggs in the morning.
one morning while gathering the birds of evil's babies, my brother thought it would be funny if he threw rocks at the side of the chicken coup and accidently threw one thru the window and pegged a chicken in the head. ALL the other chickens freaked out and got up and started going crazy rushing to get out of the coup as fast as their little chicken legs could carry them out the opening.
one problem,
i was standing in their way, so they rushed and scrambled and clawed and bit their way thru me like there was no tomorrow. frightened, i turned around and tripped hitting my head on the ledge that the chickens sat on and knocked myself unconscious. (this is what i was told, i don't really remember that part all that well).
needless to say, when i awoke from my painful slumber, there were three newly executed chickens dangling directly out my window. their heads had been removed and the blood dripping into buckets thrown under their bodies. i freaked out and wide-eyed passed out again because it scared the shit out my little 8 year old body.
not THAT in itself would tramatize anyone, let alone an eight year old child.
but it gets better, it doesn't even stop there.
feeling uncomfortable with the idea of of going near a chicken let alone looking at a chicken, i was relieved of my son of satan collecting duties (satan of course being the alleged :bok
but that didn't mean that they were going to leave me alone.
two days after the initial incidence of chicken-ness, i came face to face with the "top dog" of the chicken coup (aka the rooster) whom was called bully, because he had a tendency to attack passerbys. when i saw him my knees locked and he immediatly took charge knocking me over and clawing at my face. my father had to run and knock him off of me, pick me up and carry my shaking body away from there.
and it still doesn't stop.
because my parents thought that i was being stupid and pathetic, seeing as to how i didn't physically remember from experience being attacked by the chickens the first time, they decided, upon the request of the antichrist (grandmother) that i help in the killing of our dinner for the night.
i pleaded but eventually figured that it couldn't be THAT hard to HELP hold a chicken down so my grandma could cut off it's head. boi was i wrong!
when the time came and i went to hold the
my grandma, i was really uneasy and looked almost faint, but relunctantly i closed my eyes and walked over to where the chicken was put my hands on it and helped my grandma hold the beast down.
as she lowered the knife i swear to god i heard it scream and as she lobbed off it's head i let go out of reflex and the chicken momentarily "ran after me." now maybe it was because of the state of panic i had entered, or maybe it was the fact that i was already hyperventilating, or quite possibly it really happened because my gandmother HAD cut it's head off above the vocal chords, but i swear on everthing that i heard that chicken still boking at me, and then as it came after me i hit the floor.
to this day, i can not go within twenty feet of a chicken without my knees locking and eventually panicing and passing out.
i have friends whom have chicken coups and i have to walk around his house to avoid them, or i won't actually end up showing up at his door. he had a chicken out in his lawn once and i just went back home, and he lives a good 10 min away from my house driving, so you could imagine walking to his house and then walking back home.
maybe i'm a freak, or stupid but if i see a
i'm running in the other direction.
and that is my story
-->deviance
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
and here is a
PS: Thanks for your hello on my page. Fuck Psycho sucks bigtime!
[Edited on Feb 26, 2004 12:17AM]
Great story. I'm going to debone a chicken later in your honor, just to fuck with the little bastards, oh and because the have almost no flavor and are thus a perfect vehicle for sauces...kinda like Soy...doh
Hey man I just want to be different..Just like everybody else.