Life the last couple of days has been simultaneously awesome and utter crap. It seems as though a lot of stuff around me (read: my friends) are coming undone at the seams, and it has started to wear on me over the last 48hrs pretty heavy. What is so annoying about the whole thing is that I realized today that it is kinda distracting me from all of the super positive stuff that has been going on in
my life, so here is a list to remind myself:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1) I am single. This is usually a negative in my book, but right now, watching some bullshit go down with friends, I am really, really happy to be single. I don't want to be in any sort of relationship until I am mature enough to handle it and not hurt the person I am with. I am not so sure that I am at that place yet, so being single allows me the time to work on my personal shit NOW so I can be fully engaged when the right person comes along.
2) I (finally) straightened out some (more) lame bureaucratic nonsense at my law school, and managed to not put a fist through anyone's condescending face in the process.
3) I genuinely cannot wait for summer school to start in a week. This may seem odd, but academics have always been my best coping mechanism (avoidance?) when it comes to personal drama.
4) I have actually had a pretty amazing weekend with a "friend" of mine up in Humboldt. And while nothing romantic happened between us, she finally has seen a side of me that not a lot of people get to see. Where I grew up, and how that has shaped me. And she was totally into it. It has taken me almost 7 years to get her up there. Also, she and my mom got to bond, which is a really nice thing for me, because I think there has always been a bit of tension between the two of them. Some sort of weird territorial thing over me. Neither one really getting what my relationship to each of them is about. I think they both finally "got it" this weekend. This is all very subtle, but I realize it will have some huuuuge longterm repercussions.
5) I think, in being a little overwhelmed/disappointed by some of my friends' behavior over the past couple of days, I have been reminded of why I need to branch out a bit, and make some new ones, or at least not get into the habit of putting the ones I have on a pedestal. Not fair to them or myself in the long run.
OK. So all that was a bit emo...but doesn't even scrape the top of the iceberg at this point. Totally ripping off the great Flux now:
Fuck War! I'm going dancing.
