Best good luck happy greetings peeps,
In todays episode of my life, the rant is back.
Heat,36C (109F) my nethers, again victim of heat seal. Thats when your shaft fuses to your nut sac like the ends of a pack of crisps. My bell end was fused shut like the corners of a waffle. So hot were my clappers that I had to make an unscheduled stop at Dan Murphys. I walked around in the cool room pretending to buy beer. As it turns out I bought beer. Damn you refreshing walk in cool room, Im not made of stone!
So anyway that was on my way home from my daily constitutional. I like to power walk along the Yarra, which is quite nice this time of year. Although today was maybe too hot. Every blue ass fly in the area took a break from perching on a piping hot turd to launch an unprovoked and sustained effort to land on my face. From a fly's perspective my face at this stage must've looked like a sweaty water based theme park. Anywho, as it turns out, constantly waving my arms about, (like the robot from Lost in Space warning Will) to thwart these tiny shit infused lifeforms, is also good exercise.
Anywho so I'm walking and I had my iPhoney on shuffle and NERD comes on. Now I haven't really listened to these guys since they dissapointed me live and made me wish I'd stayed home and watched Lost instead. I remembered how much I liked them so I listened to their albums. Despite still liking their music, it brought back the memories of one of the crappiest gigs I saw. The sound, their tude, walking on super late and no encore, fuck! Grandmaster Flash opened and was DJing. Apart from playing some questionably fresh tunes, he kept stopping the music nearly every track. "Are y'all having fun out there?..I can't hear you!...Wait wait, let's stop this shit, I want my people in the back to give me a hell yeah! C'mon you can do better than that'... Oh lordy this went on for too, too long. WTF? Are DJ's and rappers paranoid? Does this line of enquiry transfer to their personal life? Is he banging his missus and mid thrust, "How you feeling? If I'm banging you right give me a hell yeah!...I can't hear you!"...
In todays episode of my life, the rant is back.
Heat,36C (109F) my nethers, again victim of heat seal. Thats when your shaft fuses to your nut sac like the ends of a pack of crisps. My bell end was fused shut like the corners of a waffle. So hot were my clappers that I had to make an unscheduled stop at Dan Murphys. I walked around in the cool room pretending to buy beer. As it turns out I bought beer. Damn you refreshing walk in cool room, Im not made of stone!
So anyway that was on my way home from my daily constitutional. I like to power walk along the Yarra, which is quite nice this time of year. Although today was maybe too hot. Every blue ass fly in the area took a break from perching on a piping hot turd to launch an unprovoked and sustained effort to land on my face. From a fly's perspective my face at this stage must've looked like a sweaty water based theme park. Anywho, as it turns out, constantly waving my arms about, (like the robot from Lost in Space warning Will) to thwart these tiny shit infused lifeforms, is also good exercise.
Anywho so I'm walking and I had my iPhoney on shuffle and NERD comes on. Now I haven't really listened to these guys since they dissapointed me live and made me wish I'd stayed home and watched Lost instead. I remembered how much I liked them so I listened to their albums. Despite still liking their music, it brought back the memories of one of the crappiest gigs I saw. The sound, their tude, walking on super late and no encore, fuck! Grandmaster Flash opened and was DJing. Apart from playing some questionably fresh tunes, he kept stopping the music nearly every track. "Are y'all having fun out there?..I can't hear you!...Wait wait, let's stop this shit, I want my people in the back to give me a hell yeah! C'mon you can do better than that'... Oh lordy this went on for too, too long. WTF? Are DJ's and rappers paranoid? Does this line of enquiry transfer to their personal life? Is he banging his missus and mid thrust, "How you feeling? If I'm banging you right give me a hell yeah!...I can't hear you!"...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
romany:
You left out the part about the fly down your throat,
cherrytrash:
Oh Deucy... You make me giggle 
I cant quite figure out if this was really a rant..are rants supposed to be funny? Whatever..just keep it up because it amuses me <3
I cant quite figure out if this was really a rant..are rants supposed to be funny? Whatever..just keep it up because it amuses me <3