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deucomatic

Member Since 2012

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Tuesday Sep 18, 2012

Sep 17, 2012
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Bonjour Fuckers, In today's rant, Spicy food standardisation, farting in public, the inbetween seasons,

OK peoples, I'm ranting but seriously, there should be a standardised rating for all hot & spicy foods. You know what I'm saying, you go into a Thai restuarant and there's little chilli icons next to a dish on the menu. One establishment's 2 chilli rating is another's 4 chilli rating. You choose a 3 chilli dish thinking you can handle a 3 out of 5 rating and, motherfuckermotherfuckermothermotherfuckerfuckermotherfuckingholyshit!motherfuckermotherfuckermotherfcuker,waterohfuck!I'mburningandmeltinglikethosenazisinraidersofthelostark! sweaty paroxysms of coughing and wierd altered states later when you've composed yourself. Yes standardisation is needed!

Has this ever happened to you? Sure it has. Well here's my story. Here I am at work feeling kinda bloated, the urge the let one rip makes me take a walk out into the warehouse. There in the seclusion of the cavernous room I let one break, hoping the sound of machinery will baffle the noise. A perfect e-minor power chord running through a valve distortion pedal, running through a super-overdrive pedal, running through an octave, an envelope filter and a T-Wah being amplified through a stack of Marshalls with 400 watt valve heads turned to 11 reverb around the open space. Relieved and swaggering away as I slap myself a five, (the prefect crime), a small voice inside my head says "turnaround", the warehouse manager is looking at me with a mixture of pride, horror & astonishment.

In other news I have found a new hitherto undiscovered season in Melbourne, its called Sprwingter, all the unpleasantness of winter during a seasonal period commonly known elsewhere in temperate regions of the world as spring.

Yes there will be a part two to the brain thingy, not that anyone is busting my wontons with pleas of 'C'mon Deucy drop that motherfucking science already!'

Anywho thanks for reading, untill next time remember kids, Capitalism is poison, sorry I mean Capitalism is great, go out and spend your hard earned on shit you don't need. Godbless*

*Blessing is non transferable, blessing valid untill October the 15th 2012. Current blessing cannot be used in conjunction with any other blessing. Blessing includes any of the following redeemable at these locations. A free upgrade from a small to medium, medium to large meal deal at participating McDonalds Family Restuarants. A free order of Texan Chicken wings at participating Hooters with any order of mains. St Francis of Assisi placemat, stubby holder and key ring valid at all sunday Catholic Masses. Free biscuit with every order at Subway. Free entry into the Catholic club super bingo prize draw Thursdays.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lectorvyal:
really...they need one at nandos, i swear everytime i order chicken they just put a random hotness chilli sauce on it just to fuck with the customers, one day its nothing...the next your shitting fire.

LOL, at least you vacate the area, i know some people..or actually ones i used to hang around with, they took great pride in dropping farts in the worst places with the greatest impact, working under the dashboard of your car re-doing the wiring in some impossible contorted position that takes 5min to get out of....expect a fart in your face puke ..seriously it was that bad, he was also a sound engineer who used to check the frequency response of his own farts with an RTA for fun...but that's a whole other storywhatever


Sep 18, 2012
lectorvyal:
haha, that tobiggrin ..i think i worded it a bit wrong, it just varies every time you go there.. you order the same medium hotness and depending on the time of the week it can be anything from mild to blistering heat ...it needs standards



Sep 18, 2012

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