deucomatic

Today's rant is brought to you by my iPhone & is as a result sad & worthy of scorn & ridicule by the three usual people who read it . My PC has, like an old nag with a shoot of fresh ginger up its ass to affect the illusion of vitality & function, failed me. Normally I'd be like, oh faithful digital companion, orator of my typed hopes & dreams, but yeah, fuck you, you digital abacus! And the cheap Chinese components you rode in on! Actually I'm glad my PC died! I had some strong words but decided against publishing all 842 paragraphs. Wow where was I? Yes I like daffodils, I mean beer. Anywho who reads my shit nowadays, maybe I should've included all 842 paragraphs. Do you know I calculated the average amount of poop I've defecated in my lifetime to be over 4.8 metric tons! Wow that means nothing to you imperial measurement users & your feet & ounces! You may as well be measuring things in bat wings & fly dicks for what the rest of the world cares... Hey the metric system, get on board! There's also no foolscap pages, everyone else uses the A series, like A4 paper & the like & things are measured in kilos not ounces or eyes of newt. Rant over