deucomatic

Hey Kids, want a career where you get to meet & be ignored by the stars? Sick of getting paid a set income on a regular basis? Dont know what to do with the other two strings on a guitar? Then you need to be a bass player!
Welcome, by deciding to play bass as your chosen profession youve joined thousands of other people, who like you, have taken a vow of poverty , people like nuns, priests and monks. Being a bass player is a rewarding career (in some parallel universe where racoons are the highest life form). Your friends will misunderstand and hate you. sorry Doug, Im a bass player, no one at your wedding will like me doing a special song... Yeah? Well every time youve seen me live I was playing bass, its not my fault that youre too lazy to count the strings!... yeah?...Well fuck you too Doug! Hey Jack, sure, Ill play at your birthday bash! Ill let the other guys know, we charge $4500.00 a night...Whats that? You dont want to pay for the band? Yeah sure Jack, I love you dude, were mates an all but, I dont rock up to your work & ask you and the team of tradesmen who I dont know personally to build me a gazebo in my backyard for free cause were mates...yeah? Well fuck you too Jack! Hey Clare how are you lovey? So youre coming to the gig? Sweet Ill see you ther...what? Well yeah, I can put you on the door its only $10 though. Oh I see, you want me to put your friends on the door as well? I dont know your friends but well make a deal. Next time youre at working fixing teeth or whatever it is you do at the dentist surgery that pays more than my job, Ill get my band mates who youve never bothered to say hello to and you can put us on the door and fix our teeth for free...yeah? Well fuck you too Clare!
So you see, being a bass player has very little in terms of redeeming features. But if you have your heart set on a lifetime of ridicule & hardship carry on dumbass!