destro

i was talking with my sis over a couple of beers last night, and it came up a discussion about being happy.
it got me thinking, i'm not really happy. content? yes, but happy? i don't think so. there are little things that make me happy for a bit, like a new love, a childs innocent smile, puppies, .... stuff like that, but it lasts only days, maybe weeks... i don't think i've ever been trully happy with all in my life, ever. but i got to thinking deeper. if desire is what keeps us going, and satisfaction is the death of desire, do i ever want to be happy with the way things are? if i was happy, i might as well quit and die.
she calls me a cynical bastard, i say i'm a realist.

so, are you happy? if not what would make you so?
as for myself, i have no fucking clue, i go after something, get what i want, then find out i didn't really want it that bad in the first place.. guess i like the thrill of the hunt more than the prize...