despairfactor

I fail at this whole updating thing. ONE WEEK! Yeah, I'm
awesome!

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Aiight, so last night was the first weekend after the end of finals. And the plan was to go to M's to pre-drink, and then go to the Owl (the bar on the university campus). So pre-drinking was fun. Played "Fuck the Dealer" which is a super fun drinking game where you can get pretty tanked.
Anywayes, 10:00 rolls around, and we decide we should go to the owl. - on any normal night, 10:00 is a pretty decent time to go, the line pbly won't be TOO long, but there would be a line. So M and I go in his car, and we agree to meet everyone there. Yay for drunken car rides when we start talking about ABORTIONS. Don't ask me why we were talking about that. But really... I think it's a good thing to talk about in a relationship.... but after 1 1/2 weeks... Come on .. why would I bring that up!? Oh yeah, I was tanked!

So we get to the Owl, and the line up is JUST HUGE! And M wants to leave. My best girl is in the line up.. somewhat close to the door (although this does not mean that she's gonna get in any time soon), and she wants me to stay.
Now this is where my real journal starts....

What does DespairFactor decide to do?
1.) Does she stay with her best girl, whom she has been friends with for 7 years, and is like a sister to her
or
2.) Does she leave with the new BF whom she has known for 4 years, and only been dating for 1 1/2 weeks?



Two billion points if you picked #2.

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Yes, so I went with the BF instead.... and I have become everything I never wanted to be. I always promised myself that I would never be one of those girls who ditches her friends for her boi. I've seen my friends become those girls, and I hated it. And I lasted an entire year not being one of those girls when I was dating Christian.

But now........... pfffffffffffff. Granted, this was only one situation. But I'm scared that it's gonna start happening more. And I don't want it to. I've always been... well... proud of the fact that I could still be independant in a relationship. And this just scares me!

Its I guess not a bad thing... I mean, I love hanging out with M.... I adore him... hence why I wanna be with him all the time. And that's DEFINATELY not a bad thing. But I don't wanna be the girl who ditches for a boi. I do not want to be her!

I just think I might be falling for him way too fast. :S... is that possible? To fall for someone too fast? I'm not saying that I'm like in lurrrrrve or whatever... but where I am right now? I was never feeling like this with Christian, who I WAS in love with. Maybe I shouldn't use that relationship as a line to gauge from. Cuz they are two completly different situations....
I don't really know where I'm going with this journal. I'm still trying to get all my thoughts straight here too.

And yes... I know you are reading this.... and I still stand by everything I said last night. Even if I was drunk. Some people may change their opinions or feelings when they are drunk. But I don't.