I'm a heartbreaker, and its a title I don't want. I never meant to hurt anyone, I'm only living my life, and I'm sorry if you got caught up in the catastrophe that is me.
Yesterday I got to break up with TWO people.... :
Hearts = 0, Lizzie = 2.
And I'm so sorry for all of it. I don't know when I managed to become so "enchanting"... I don't understand how I could break someones heart... I'm not that exciting. Why would anyone want to be with me!?
It's a sketchy situation... at best.
Situation One
This involved an AMAZING awesome, eye heart ewe guy. Just the best person I have ever met in my life. We had this crazy type of connection... and I truely felt like he was someone who would finish my sentences for me. We could talk for hours on end, and they were some of the best conversations I've ever had... even if they were about spleen chi.
But (there's always a but isn't there?), said boy lives about 2 and a half hours away. And for all of his amazing qualities, and the fact that we connected on such an intimate level, I wasn't interested in him. I don't know why. He's perfect... and I mean that from the bottom of my heart... but.... I just didn't feel "it". I think if I had, I would be on a bus with my sister this August to be living in toon town.
And so..... I had to "break up" with him (for lack of a better word for what happened). Luckily, this boy IS so amazing, and he understands. We can still be friends, and I am SO thankful for that.... but it still sucks, I don't want to be the person who says "I don't like you" ... I've been on the recieving end of that, and it hurts SO bad.
Situation Two
This situation involved my fuck buddy and myself. And it's hella complicated. But you all have time to read about it right?!
About 4 years ago, this boy ("M") and I met. We both hit it off really well, and he was into me, and I was into him... but we never acted on it, and he started dating another girl. The entire time he was dating her, he told me that he still had feelings for him. It was horrible, because I was 4 years younger remember, and I didn't understand, my poor little 15 year old heart was so hurt after that. "Why would he be dating someone else if he likes me?!"...
Anywayes, "M" and I stopped talking after that... until about a year later, when we ran into each other at a party. And again, we hit it off. This time, I was wary about getting involved, so in my navety, I thought it would be better if we just hooked up a couple times. Bad idea.... "M" again went out and hooked up with other girls. I found out, and it broke my heart ALL over, so I stopped talking to him for two years
Then, a few months ago, we ran into each other. I have grown up alot in those two years, and I knew what I wanted, and I told him that. I wasn't interested in him in a romantic way, I just wanted to have some "fun". And I told him that from the very beginning. He agreed.
But this time... he fell for me. And I feel horrible. I can't trust him after what he did to me... TWICE! And I told him that, all he says is "I've changed... I'm sorry... blah blah blah"... and even if he HAS changed, I can't believe it. For everything that happened, I don't know what he truely feels. He is so closed off to telling me the truth, that I don't know anymore.
So last night, at the owl, I ran into him, and I was telling him about EPS boy, and he FINALLY opened up. Telling me that it made him SO jealous that I liked someone else, and that he wanted to be with me, if only I would give him a second chance. But I can't. I can't trust my heart to someone who broke it twice.
So now I get a txt msg from him saying "Well I guess I really know what its like now. I'm really sorry. Good bye". I didn't want to hurt him in the way that he hurt me... hence why I told him from the start I didn't want to get involved. I never wanted to break his heart. He too is an amazing guy... but... it worked out so that I basically did the same thing to him that he did to me. And he's saying good bye to me too. I wish we could still be friends... but I see why it wouldn't work out.
So now I am a heartbreaker.....
frek frek frek.
----------------------------------------
*le sigh* EPS boy kissed me last night!!
Lyric
"And maybe I just set aside the fact that you were broken hearted. In my own special selfish way. And if i hadn't set aside the fact that you were broken hearted. Hell knows where your heart would be today. Maybe with me." ~~ Alkaline Trio - Sorry About That
Yesterday I got to break up with TWO people.... :
Hearts = 0, Lizzie = 2.
And I'm so sorry for all of it. I don't know when I managed to become so "enchanting"... I don't understand how I could break someones heart... I'm not that exciting. Why would anyone want to be with me!?
It's a sketchy situation... at best.
Situation One
This involved an AMAZING awesome, eye heart ewe guy. Just the best person I have ever met in my life. We had this crazy type of connection... and I truely felt like he was someone who would finish my sentences for me. We could talk for hours on end, and they were some of the best conversations I've ever had... even if they were about spleen chi.
But (there's always a but isn't there?), said boy lives about 2 and a half hours away. And for all of his amazing qualities, and the fact that we connected on such an intimate level, I wasn't interested in him. I don't know why. He's perfect... and I mean that from the bottom of my heart... but.... I just didn't feel "it". I think if I had, I would be on a bus with my sister this August to be living in toon town.
And so..... I had to "break up" with him (for lack of a better word for what happened). Luckily, this boy IS so amazing, and he understands. We can still be friends, and I am SO thankful for that.... but it still sucks, I don't want to be the person who says "I don't like you" ... I've been on the recieving end of that, and it hurts SO bad.
Situation Two
This situation involved my fuck buddy and myself. And it's hella complicated. But you all have time to read about it right?!
About 4 years ago, this boy ("M") and I met. We both hit it off really well, and he was into me, and I was into him... but we never acted on it, and he started dating another girl. The entire time he was dating her, he told me that he still had feelings for him. It was horrible, because I was 4 years younger remember, and I didn't understand, my poor little 15 year old heart was so hurt after that. "Why would he be dating someone else if he likes me?!"...
Anywayes, "M" and I stopped talking after that... until about a year later, when we ran into each other at a party. And again, we hit it off. This time, I was wary about getting involved, so in my navety, I thought it would be better if we just hooked up a couple times. Bad idea.... "M" again went out and hooked up with other girls. I found out, and it broke my heart ALL over, so I stopped talking to him for two years
Then, a few months ago, we ran into each other. I have grown up alot in those two years, and I knew what I wanted, and I told him that. I wasn't interested in him in a romantic way, I just wanted to have some "fun". And I told him that from the very beginning. He agreed.
But this time... he fell for me. And I feel horrible. I can't trust him after what he did to me... TWICE! And I told him that, all he says is "I've changed... I'm sorry... blah blah blah"... and even if he HAS changed, I can't believe it. For everything that happened, I don't know what he truely feels. He is so closed off to telling me the truth, that I don't know anymore.
So last night, at the owl, I ran into him, and I was telling him about EPS boy, and he FINALLY opened up. Telling me that it made him SO jealous that I liked someone else, and that he wanted to be with me, if only I would give him a second chance. But I can't. I can't trust my heart to someone who broke it twice.
So now I get a txt msg from him saying "Well I guess I really know what its like now. I'm really sorry. Good bye". I didn't want to hurt him in the way that he hurt me... hence why I told him from the start I didn't want to get involved. I never wanted to break his heart. He too is an amazing guy... but... it worked out so that I basically did the same thing to him that he did to me. And he's saying good bye to me too. I wish we could still be friends... but I see why it wouldn't work out.
So now I am a heartbreaker.....
frek frek frek.
----------------------------------------
*le sigh* EPS boy kissed me last night!!
Lyric
"And maybe I just set aside the fact that you were broken hearted. In my own special selfish way. And if i hadn't set aside the fact that you were broken hearted. Hell knows where your heart would be today. Maybe with me." ~~ Alkaline Trio - Sorry About That
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
I mean you just have to knock them out of your life not crush them into smithereens
I fear for the EPS boy