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despairfactor

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 134 Following 85

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Tuesday Jan 17, 2006

Jan 17, 2006
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Soooooo...... almost a month of no updates.

I just feel so apathetic and frsutrated with life right now.... and as is such, have no desire to go on MSN, update on here, reply to emails, or talk on the phone.... I don't really want to do anything.
Well, I wanna sit and watch TV.. and have some time to myself. That's about it.

Ever since wrestling started after Christmas, I've been feeling so blah, and its gotten worse since school has started again.

I get up at 7:00, go to school until 4:30, and then go to practice until 7:30ish, eat supper, and go to bed.

I'm not exciting, and this schedual is pissing me off.

Even more so, is the fact that I never see my bestest friend anymore.
We have to plan our get togethers like 6 weeks in advance. How pathetic is that?

And one of the sad things is that I should be missing her, but I don't. I have all these really cool new friends (who are in all of my classes (in education, we're with the same people all the time)) and they're pretty swank. And they take up most of my time (as well as the people on my wrestling team)....... I dunno.

It's just weird, I think, because I have all these new people in my life... whereas I used to only have my best friend, and my boy friend. Now I've got a billion other people.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this entry.... lol
But seriously, I think that I'm the type of person who does well with one or two good friends, and now I've got about 15 new friends, and I'm overwhelmed... and stressed.... hahaha.
But yeah, I feel like I'm not even friends with my bestest anymore.

And the same with my BF... I feel like I don't even know him anymore.... like I'm so disconnected from him. I don't like it. I don't enjoy this seperation I'm experiencing from the two most important people in my life.
I spent the night at the BFs house last night, and I felt like I didn't know who he was. I still love him.... I just don't feel as close to him as I would like to. It makes me sad.
And the same goes for the bestest.

I feel like I need to get away from school and wrestling, and these new people in my life, and just reconect and recharge my batteries......
Actually, I don't know what I need.

All I know is that I hate everything right now. So I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
yuriel:
dear....

-hugs very very tightly

i can offer with a sentiment more than my bungling big mouth could ever hope to.

<3
mad love

i hope, and that indeed it SHALL
work out for you
EL SUICIDO LOCO
Jan 26, 2006
bixbygrendel:
I don't know you from Peter but, you should talk to your friends, as in boy and best. See how they feel then share how you feel. Find a way. It' snot too bad if yah do. I'm under house arrest on a day schedule and I manage to stay friends with my friends who are all VERY free and night people. It sucks but always fixable. Nice to meet and greet yah by the way
Jan 28, 2006

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