desormais

apparently my brain exhibits some spiking in the alpha waves, "suggestive of having a primary epilepsy disorder."

i'm not sure if i'm happy that i'm at least a step closer to finding out what's wrong, or i'm really upset that i'm possibly epileptic. i thought it was mostly genetic, too, and there's almost no history of it in my family...just some distant cousin i think. fuck.

apparently lamictal (which i was on for awhile for bipolar) is somewhat effective, which i may need to go back on. but right now i'm being started on depakote not only for seizures but for migraines as well. i really hope it works, i'm so sick of this.

i don't know if i'll ever be able to return to normalcy. i'm so upset right now.