desmodius

i hate smoking, and i hate not having the will too quit smoking... i've tried everything i can think of to stop. patches, pills, cold turkey. the damned things keep calling me back.
when i try to quit smoking. i can't think straight. my head is fogged up all the time, i can't sleep, i get headaches, when i'm not smoking all i can think about is going out and buying a pack of smokes, and you people might think i'm a bit loopy. hah. you haven't seen me after a few days without a cigerette. i'm positively fucking loco.
i can take it for about a week and by then i am gnawing at my damned arm and driving to the store to get another pack of freakin smokes.
maybe i should have went to black tar heroine instead... they cost about the same anymore and from what i'm led to believe it's easier to quit...
right now i have a full carton and half a pack of pall malls, and i want to burn them all up and not look back, and i would if i didn't know that by the end of the day i would be hauling ass to the bp (gas station.) to buy another carton of smokes.
ah fuck it... foamy has a new cartoon up. go watch it, it's funny. smoke them if you got them.
this is the paradox of my life:
i'm an alergic asthmatic,
i'm alergic to dander= i have two cats
i am alergic to dust= i work at a charcoal factory where that's all you breathe in for nine to twelve hours a day.
i am allergic to smoke: i smoke two packs a day. around that anyway.
everything that is bad for me or will fuck me up. i do... can you say self destructive... maybe a tad...
and the sad part is i can't even bring myself to giving a shit...
well not enough to stop it anyway...
oh well... sorry for the rant. hope you enjoy the foamy...

does lucidity not have one of the most lickable bellies you've ever seen...
ahhh... lust.