back in 1999, my stepfather and my mother bought land in missouri. i was bored and i was sick of my roomates so when they asked me if i would move in with them and move to missouri to help them set up the land, because dave had to stay up north for a year and finish his job before he retired at the steel mill where he worked so it would just be my mom down here to get the place ready to go with no help, i jumped at the chance. change of scenery. change of location. i was good to go. So me and my mother moved into thier prefab home onto the land that i had seen once before after they had cleared the 2 acres out of the sixty eight that they had bought so that the prefab home, a double wide trailer that looked better then any house i'd ever lived in before. it was sweet, and once we finally got the well diggers to finish the job so we had running water so i didn't have to drive thirty miles to the lake every damned day. it was livable. So i lived down here and helped her with all the clearing. did all the boulder moving by hand and wheelbarrow.
almost time for dave to move down. me and my mother had the land ready. we had a lot of the rocks cleared in the backyard and new grass was starting to grow. it was starting to look like the way that she wanted it too and she was for the first time i think in her life, almost content, if it wasn't for my shithead meth loving brother, i think she would have been the happiest she had ever been in here life. she had grown up in a physically/sexually abusive family with freindlier then normal siblings and married my father basically to get out of the horror that was her life at the time.
they never loved each other and we moved a lot when i was young because my dad would spend all of his rent money so that we lost every place we ever lived, about nine homes, in thirteen years before we moved into this place called foxwood manor up in philly. to this day i have no idea where his money went, but how my mother was always crying. i think it was hookers, at eighteen they got a divorce. i got my own place and a steady stream of roomates ensued...
anyway. it was maybe a month before my stepfather was supposed to move in when he called my mother and told her to get out because he found someone else. So the way that i figure it. he made it look like he wanted my mom and me to move down here to help get the land ready for him and her, but what he wanted was someone to get the land ready for him and his woman. i think i actually heard her heart break that day. she just kept saying that she wanted to die, and she wouldn't stop crying. she went up to pittsburgh where the s.o.b. was with his woman while i stayed down here. i wanted to drive her but she wouldn't let me. she wanted me to stay in the place and watch lucy (our dog who was about a year old at the time.) the house. ( the house was broken into the night before we moved in and the new comp, fax and other perks were all stolen out of it...inside job?) and she did not want me to loose my job because my boss said that if i left i could kiss it goodbye. (thanks again walmart...)
She drove back again two weeks later and told me that they had reached an agreement that they would be seperated and that he would live in a single wide trailer behind the big house and me and my mother would have the big house to ourselves. she had aggreed to it because she felt that there was nothing to move back to in philly. (and i think that she hoped somewhere that he would crawl back to her.) so that was the way that it was for around two years. But the problem was that she was not okay with it. something inside of her snapped. she started to drink more and more everyday, vodka. she tried to kill herself two more times with pills. i tried to get her to commit herself for help or to let me, but she said that she would wait until i wasn't around and blow her brains out if i tried anything like that.
so i got to watch her slip into depression alcaholism, and insanity because i was too afraid to do anything to help her because nothing i did helped. i really wanted to kill david. still do when i think about it. in 2002 sept, 18. she was pulling into a garage sale in a town called bunker and got hit head on with a truck. she died slowly. i found out at 11:30 that morning. we were gonna work a little on the land after she got done perusing the yard sales that she liked to go to.
a month later i spread her ashes on the land and moved out of the house to where i am right now in poplar bluff.
she never new anything but pain and hardship her whole life, until she finally met someone that she thought loved her. and he fucked her over so hard it killed her. she was dead well before she got hit by that truck. i know it.
almost time for dave to move down. me and my mother had the land ready. we had a lot of the rocks cleared in the backyard and new grass was starting to grow. it was starting to look like the way that she wanted it too and she was for the first time i think in her life, almost content, if it wasn't for my shithead meth loving brother, i think she would have been the happiest she had ever been in here life. she had grown up in a physically/sexually abusive family with freindlier then normal siblings and married my father basically to get out of the horror that was her life at the time.
they never loved each other and we moved a lot when i was young because my dad would spend all of his rent money so that we lost every place we ever lived, about nine homes, in thirteen years before we moved into this place called foxwood manor up in philly. to this day i have no idea where his money went, but how my mother was always crying. i think it was hookers, at eighteen they got a divorce. i got my own place and a steady stream of roomates ensued...
anyway. it was maybe a month before my stepfather was supposed to move in when he called my mother and told her to get out because he found someone else. So the way that i figure it. he made it look like he wanted my mom and me to move down here to help get the land ready for him and her, but what he wanted was someone to get the land ready for him and his woman. i think i actually heard her heart break that day. she just kept saying that she wanted to die, and she wouldn't stop crying. she went up to pittsburgh where the s.o.b. was with his woman while i stayed down here. i wanted to drive her but she wouldn't let me. she wanted me to stay in the place and watch lucy (our dog who was about a year old at the time.) the house. ( the house was broken into the night before we moved in and the new comp, fax and other perks were all stolen out of it...inside job?) and she did not want me to loose my job because my boss said that if i left i could kiss it goodbye. (thanks again walmart...)
She drove back again two weeks later and told me that they had reached an agreement that they would be seperated and that he would live in a single wide trailer behind the big house and me and my mother would have the big house to ourselves. she had aggreed to it because she felt that there was nothing to move back to in philly. (and i think that she hoped somewhere that he would crawl back to her.) so that was the way that it was for around two years. But the problem was that she was not okay with it. something inside of her snapped. she started to drink more and more everyday, vodka. she tried to kill herself two more times with pills. i tried to get her to commit herself for help or to let me, but she said that she would wait until i wasn't around and blow her brains out if i tried anything like that.
so i got to watch her slip into depression alcaholism, and insanity because i was too afraid to do anything to help her because nothing i did helped. i really wanted to kill david. still do when i think about it. in 2002 sept, 18. she was pulling into a garage sale in a town called bunker and got hit head on with a truck. she died slowly. i found out at 11:30 that morning. we were gonna work a little on the land after she got done perusing the yard sales that she liked to go to.
a month later i spread her ashes on the land and moved out of the house to where i am right now in poplar bluff.
she never new anything but pain and hardship her whole life, until she finally met someone that she thought loved her. and he fucked her over so hard it killed her. she was dead well before she got hit by that truck. i know it.
You have a fabulous talent for words.