desireenicole

I've been going back and forth with my boyfriendf (or ex...? Not sure what he is yet), for maybe a month and a half now. I met him right before my 18th birthday. We were together for 2 1/2 years before I left our apartment. The truth is, our problems started in the very beginning. He kept me from my old friends, and stopped me from making new ones. At first he was all for me being a SG, but once I applied and told him I was accepted, he changed his mind. He didn't let me get any tattoos or piercings like I've wanted since I was 14. He would get mad at me because I'm so trusting and because sometimes I wanted to talk to friends from work about what was going on. I needed help and advice. He even got mad if I told my mom or sister anything. If I talked to any guy at work he would accuse me of cheating. He's gotten so mad about nothing he's kicked me out of our apartment four times.

I fell hard for his guy. Harder than I've ever fallen before. And I'm upset at myself for it. Before I met him I was with another guy who treated me like crap. And I told myself I wouldn't fall for anyone so soon. But I fell in love the day I met him. I always wanted that fairytale romance.

I'm only 20. I'm still young.

Even though I know now that I deserve so much better, I don't know what to do about him. Do I give him another chance(which would be the third or fourth time I go back after leaving)? Or do I move on? I want to move on, but I love him. I put my all into this relationship. But I put so much in that I nearly lost myself trying to be who he wants me to be. I don't ever want that to happen again, and I think it would if I go back to him.... Uggghhh!!! I'm soo lost!!!!