Disregard that last entry. Setting goals for the future was apparently a huge waste of time. I've been putting a lot of thought over it for the past few hours and my brilliant idea is learning to tie a noose. Was I should say.
Its not an ideal rope but I think it'll hold. My main concern is that this will have to be tied to the fire escape. Now kicking a chair out from under you is one thing but I don't think I have enough rope for that which does not make things any easier, not to mention I'll be outside, I'll have to check the sidewalk to see how visable I'll be.
This will be far less cleanup than a razor in the bathub and not as traumatizing for those who will be using the shower in the future.
I shall wait until the end of the week to hear from any interviews or callbacks I recieve before taking the plunge. If that fails I will attempt to refrain from returning to this apartment as I carry no ID connecting to it they should be safe from having me burden them any longer. I will then contact the family I have in the city, distant relatives though they may be... I don't think there would be any point in this however...
If worse comes to worse than I shall withdraw the final thirteen dollars in my bank account and procure a razor blade or utility knife.
This is my plan, although in all honesty I give it a 94% chance that what will actually occur is me not getting a job, completely chickening out of leaving with at least a sliver of dignity, falling into an even bigger depression where I will be unable to job hunt as I won't be able to face people and spend almost a week literally curled into a ball until when I venture out for what little food I have left, am asked to leave the premises and utterly, infinitely, insanely, unimaginabley humilated, call my parents, to at their expense, fly me to stay with them where I will suffer an enormous breakdown from which I will never recover, living in the woods outside of eugene, OR where I would stand even less of a chance of finding employement and providing for myself than here.
I really really really really really really really hope I get that job...
Its not an ideal rope but I think it'll hold. My main concern is that this will have to be tied to the fire escape. Now kicking a chair out from under you is one thing but I don't think I have enough rope for that which does not make things any easier, not to mention I'll be outside, I'll have to check the sidewalk to see how visable I'll be.
This will be far less cleanup than a razor in the bathub and not as traumatizing for those who will be using the shower in the future.
I shall wait until the end of the week to hear from any interviews or callbacks I recieve before taking the plunge. If that fails I will attempt to refrain from returning to this apartment as I carry no ID connecting to it they should be safe from having me burden them any longer. I will then contact the family I have in the city, distant relatives though they may be... I don't think there would be any point in this however...
If worse comes to worse than I shall withdraw the final thirteen dollars in my bank account and procure a razor blade or utility knife.
This is my plan, although in all honesty I give it a 94% chance that what will actually occur is me not getting a job, completely chickening out of leaving with at least a sliver of dignity, falling into an even bigger depression where I will be unable to job hunt as I won't be able to face people and spend almost a week literally curled into a ball until when I venture out for what little food I have left, am asked to leave the premises and utterly, infinitely, insanely, unimaginabley humilated, call my parents, to at their expense, fly me to stay with them where I will suffer an enormous breakdown from which I will never recover, living in the woods outside of eugene, OR where I would stand even less of a chance of finding employement and providing for myself than here.
I really really really really really really really hope I get that job...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
moongirl:
um...okay...then replace pauly shore with a bunch of vikings singing the spam song
nixon:
Oh, darlin'. I really do miss you. You'll figure something out. That does NOT involve my fire escape. 