I'm starting to see the obsessive nature that sometimes emerges with self-improvement. I was never a big believer in self-improvement, felt like it was just lying. Of course I wasn't fat when I thought that way. But now It seems the more weight I lose the more unnattractive I become. Despite my firm grip on reality I deep down thought I'd show up to prom like Brad Pitt. I know I set my goal high but I know how short I end up, I just didn't think my heart would have gotten set on it.
I miss soccer. I liked it a lot better when I didn't give a shit about dieting or exercise, I just played soccer and enjoyed the hell out of it. I can't enjoy soccer anymore, I'm not sure if my friends have ever played sports and punctuality is none of our fortes'. Joining a league would be a hideous idea. 8 foot violent giants I could never be comfortable near.
Maybe once I get an acceptable weight I'll just do my exercise program (which consists of as much sex and club dancing as possible) and see how things go but until then I'm just doomed to dieting...
On a seperate subject, mousetraps agitate me both physically and mentally. Mice are cute and ideally I think they deserve to live. I also think I should be able to live in my room without them driving me crazy going through my food and garbage. Knawing through my cabinet to get to my dried goods was the last straw.
The traps themselves are cheap as hell and almost impossible to set. I've only suffered mild injuries so far but you have to be a fucking surgeon to keep these things from clipping your fingers off.
Last week I bought an Ashley Wood art book on mass sleep deprivation. Its all naked/semi-naked girls and robots but I've always thought the balance between style and realism was dead-on gorgeous. So I bought it. Then I found out the horrible truth. Ashley Wood is a dude. The art is really quite sexist, bulking masculine robots with girls in bikinis at their feet but when I thought he was a girl it was ironic but now its just blatant and the whole thing is ruined. I've fallen in love with this impressionist style picture of simply a man walking a street. no guns. no huge nipples. I think I'll scan it for you. eventually.
Well its a beautiful day, gorgeous weather, I'm going to bed. Peace.
I miss soccer. I liked it a lot better when I didn't give a shit about dieting or exercise, I just played soccer and enjoyed the hell out of it. I can't enjoy soccer anymore, I'm not sure if my friends have ever played sports and punctuality is none of our fortes'. Joining a league would be a hideous idea. 8 foot violent giants I could never be comfortable near.
Maybe once I get an acceptable weight I'll just do my exercise program (which consists of as much sex and club dancing as possible) and see how things go but until then I'm just doomed to dieting...
On a seperate subject, mousetraps agitate me both physically and mentally. Mice are cute and ideally I think they deserve to live. I also think I should be able to live in my room without them driving me crazy going through my food and garbage. Knawing through my cabinet to get to my dried goods was the last straw.
The traps themselves are cheap as hell and almost impossible to set. I've only suffered mild injuries so far but you have to be a fucking surgeon to keep these things from clipping your fingers off.
Last week I bought an Ashley Wood art book on mass sleep deprivation. Its all naked/semi-naked girls and robots but I've always thought the balance between style and realism was dead-on gorgeous. So I bought it. Then I found out the horrible truth. Ashley Wood is a dude. The art is really quite sexist, bulking masculine robots with girls in bikinis at their feet but when I thought he was a girl it was ironic but now its just blatant and the whole thing is ruined. I've fallen in love with this impressionist style picture of simply a man walking a street. no guns. no huge nipples. I think I'll scan it for you. eventually.
Well its a beautiful day, gorgeous weather, I'm going to bed. Peace.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
tankboi:
i'll play soccer with you.it's been a while,but seriously, we could start a skrawny little league of our own and out wit the mongoloids, wait do mongoloids even play soccer? 
evillyn:
Damn straight he's a masculine poodle. And he's always getting in the laundry and eating my fucking underwear and then crapping it out.