Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

desidia

that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

Member Since 2002

Followers 169 Following 92

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Oct 18, 2006

Oct 17, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
On second thought comment, having someone so demanding and deserving I'd have no time to be worshipped or even regard my desire for affection... that would be equally fine. And I cannot stress equally enough. Either or, both would weigh the same to me.

I had someone like that once. Made me feel content in my person. I can't yet see what I could have done to have kept it from turning to past tense... I continue to improve myself in meaningless directions, most likely going towards this person while pretending it is my own path.

I can rationalize it a thousand ways, past and present. But I'm still alone. Even with an unreal Dutch beauty, model of even higher degree than ever, I still wish differently for the past.

Playfully trying to imagine what accent the true elitist's have in Amsterdam, I can barely bide my time.


And then scrunched in the emo corner (as everything prior is a slowly-calculated equation of my own emotions including the chemical and environmental conditions): Fuck it. I can never pour my heart out.

I am firstborne,firstlove. I am unrequited. I am Irish and I am five-times scorpio.

I am made of lies and secrets, I pretend to wear masks out truths, I Hate and I Love both Everything and Nothing. And then theres still room for Her and the Opposite-of-Her and then a little room for- Strike that. I was convinving myself with the delusions I label as such even if they are truth.

I can't believe I wasn't born with Scorpio burned in my side. And I'm surprised no one has yet burned it in me. I am not surprised I still keep putting off doing it myself.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
richardson:
i had to look up nifty. always pleased to learn something new.
Oct 22, 2006
richardson:
do do i.
Oct 22, 2006

More Blogs

  • 04.27.14
    0

    Memorial Day encroaches

    Will I be seeing anyone on the 26th? Do you have a date yet? Bec…
  • 04.12.14
    1

    Better late than never

    So @morgan tagged me to do this over eight years ago and I'm only …
  • 04.06.14
    0

    I lay blame on Cranes

    If I could squeeze through the cracks even the smallest of spa…
  • 03.06.14
    0

    I can't compete

    There was entirely too much future and past tonight. It makes it h…
  • 03.04.14
    0

    color test. looking for votes.

    I don't know what color I want to paint in. Feel free to list color…
  • 02.13.14
    0

    As always

    I think I'll spend most of tomorrow painting deer skulls with …
  • 02.03.14
    0

    two dreams I've married Polly jean harvey

    is too many. On the other hand, would it be better to dream of t…
  • 01.15.14
    0

    bit of a catch 22

    But I can't find my red lucky-lefty scissors and it makes me wa…
  • 01.08.14
    0

    time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

    And so I spent more of my time with a kneaded eraser today than an…
  • 01.06.14
    0

    Curiouser and curiouser

    I thought I renewed my account but it says I'm expired but I still …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
8
months
24
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,123,049 followers
  • 14,912,246 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,371,591 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo