desidia

I'm exceedingly unhappy tonight. "Accidental suicide" unhappy. Not when you take the whole bottle of xanax and vodka and don't plan on waking up but because thats how much its going to take to relax and actually get through the day...

I'm going to check my phone and make sure no one remembered I'm still around. Then I'm going curl into the fetus position and sleep five hours earlier than usual.

I just want to dissapear. getting my life back together just isn't worth this shit.

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11:09 And the day just keeps getting better and better...
Shit. I really should curled into a fetus and gone to bed when I had the chance. Silly me trying to end the night on a reasonable note.

Theres only three songs on this computer I can actually tolerate in this mood: Chopin - Funeral March, Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 and Annie Lennox - Why.

I'm feeling so emo I want to post the lyrics to "Why" but they actually have nothing in common with my dillemmas. 1979 isn't any better...

Is there a song about being stuck in a purgatory on earth and watching the rest of the world slip past and move further and further on without me?

This is what the french call "La petite morte". Dying a little thousand deaths each day until they all add up.