desdenova

I do believe that I've discovered the secret to eternal life.
The plan is as follows:
Twinkies, despite having a "cream" filling, have a ridiculous shelf life of a billion years (maybe more like seven, but who's counting?).
Therefore, if I slather my entire naked body in twinkie "cream" the preservatives should keep me youthful and pretty (not to mention unnaturally delicious!) until the sun explodes and destroys the earth in a really cool looking ball of fire as long as I remember to reapply the cream periodically. I'll see you bitches in a thousand years, pretty as ever.