denverkitty

So today, just another day towards a healing heart. I feel lots better about the break up and about my life. Long distance relationships are super hard, and they cause a lot of tension.
I've never been a super jealous person, but that relationship made me feel like an angry, jealous, evil, crazy girl. lol. I couldn't see my S.O., and yet other girls could. Other girls who made it a point to flirt with him online and he, ironically, flirted right back. I couldn't handle that. If he had been here with me, I would just shrug my shoulders at the whole situation because I would actually personally get to see him as well, but that was just too hard. I'm feeling content with my decision to end that and start anew.
I can finally pursue the men (or women) that live near me, which scares me a little, because I've done this long distance thing for a while now, but I'm ready to actually be able to get on a more personal level with someone.
I think I've been running scared from an intimate relationship, as it seems people put so much emphasis on having sex right away! Not that I'm against sex, I love it just as much as the next person, but I also don't like the feeling of giving myself to someone who I am not totally sure I want to. And doing it right away takes away my ability to actually see that person through untainted eyes. lol.
Maybe I should start going to church and find a virgin boy. lol. That might help (or hurt) me. Lol. I'll be the sex fiend then.