SO here I am, broken heart and all. I haven't been on here in a while because I tried to commit suicide. But I'm now ready to get on with my life. I can't believe he lied to me so much. He slept with this girl and now she's telling ME she might be pregnant! I don't really care, I have my own dealings to worry about than someone else's where I told them to stay away. And now they know the shit-trails he always succeeds at leaving. I'm not even going to tell her that he's in jail. I'm just gonna let her believe he doesn't want to talk to her. Because that's what she deserves for the shitty things she said to me, calling me his "nigger girlfriend"! wtf?! 
I'm sick now, actually and I hope he didn't work his magic on me too. I also hope he didn't leave me with any diseases from being such a slut screwing around with ugly girls to spite me. I don't know why he told me he wanted to marry me and I don't know why I believed him. I don't know why I had unprotected sex with him either. I knew he couldn't be trusted, but I wanted to trust him so bad because I was in love. And then here goes this ugly fat girl who's got nothing going for her other than big boobs, he wanted me to get boobs but I'm comfortable with the way I am. He's still a 17 year old boy, he's 33 frickin' years old! It's not playtime anymore! It's way past the time to try to be a rockstar. If he'd stayed with me the first time around he would be out there doing those things 6 years ago! But again, I lose to an ugly trailer trash chick, who he knows cheats on him and treated him like shit. But oh no, the girl who devotes herself to him, supports everything he does, loves him, and trusts him with her life is the wrong one. I guess everyone wants a bitch except a man that I wouldn't find physically attractive, and I'm not one to settle. I want a 6'2" Mario Lopez or Zachary Quinto with brains, and a good personality. Hard treasure to find I know, but when you're sort of attractive, you don't settle for less than what you want! That's what gets me in trouble I guess. Maybe that's why I'm not married by now. BUUUT, I am 24 but I don't take life for granted, my best friend passed away at 19! And it's been 5 years, but it still hurts because I don't have her to run to when I'm hurt. I have to kneel at her headstone and cry until I can't cry anymore. I'm just trying to go out as much as possible so that I can not hurt for a few hours at least.
UGH!!! I HATE PEOPLE SOMETIMES!!!!
I'm sick now, actually and I hope he didn't work his magic on me too. I also hope he didn't leave me with any diseases from being such a slut screwing around with ugly girls to spite me. I don't know why he told me he wanted to marry me and I don't know why I believed him. I don't know why I had unprotected sex with him either. I knew he couldn't be trusted, but I wanted to trust him so bad because I was in love. And then here goes this ugly fat girl who's got nothing going for her other than big boobs, he wanted me to get boobs but I'm comfortable with the way I am. He's still a 17 year old boy, he's 33 frickin' years old! It's not playtime anymore! It's way past the time to try to be a rockstar. If he'd stayed with me the first time around he would be out there doing those things 6 years ago! But again, I lose to an ugly trailer trash chick, who he knows cheats on him and treated him like shit. But oh no, the girl who devotes herself to him, supports everything he does, loves him, and trusts him with her life is the wrong one. I guess everyone wants a bitch except a man that I wouldn't find physically attractive, and I'm not one to settle. I want a 6'2" Mario Lopez or Zachary Quinto with brains, and a good personality. Hard treasure to find I know, but when you're sort of attractive, you don't settle for less than what you want! That's what gets me in trouble I guess. Maybe that's why I'm not married by now. BUUUT, I am 24 but I don't take life for granted, my best friend passed away at 19! And it's been 5 years, but it still hurts because I don't have her to run to when I'm hurt. I have to kneel at her headstone and cry until I can't cry anymore. I'm just trying to go out as much as possible so that I can not hurt for a few hours at least.
UGH!!! I HATE PEOPLE SOMETIMES!!!!