demonic420

I don't know what to do at this point. I hear the word "Care" used a lot but I just see it being miss used. I would take time to myself but Ive been doing that for over a year now. once I open up to someone or I think its going well, something always has to happen right when I think things are getting better. this is not the first time, my phone service went out. been out for 3 days so far. no one has asked what happen or.....or nothing. I look at my Inbox and I see nothing. Comments....nothing. I try talk and it just turns to shit. there is literaly no one I can turn to. even when someone tells me their here for me. when I need someone I can find anyone, not even my shadow cause im in the dark with no light in sight. my will and sanity is coming down to its last drop. I don't know how much longer I can keep myself together. Im like a giant stone monster trying to catch the rocks and find a place for them, when save one rock I lose five. things just bug the hell out of me its like im ready to have a panic attack. I already know I wont get help, just advice that ive heard over and over when no matter how hard I try....it just never works. if you read this I wish I had your will power to help me through this tough time....more like bad 2 years of my life. one problem after another. whats the use, my life is going down hill from here. to anyone who reads my blogs....I really need help.