Well I started writing about my experiences with the accident. A lot of people tell me I should write about my life now, but that's been done so many times and it would probably be really boring. But I wanna write about my hospitalization and the stuff I went through, mainly in Neurological ICU and the surgery and stuff...so, here's the first part. Tell me what you all think.
I awoke knowing where I was right away. There was no moment of confusion or question about it. What I didnt remember was how I got there, or rather, what had happened that caused the car to stop. My mom was calling my name, trying to get my attention. The passage of time between the moment when I was talking with her about where to find ridge-less, clear vinyl floor runners and the moment when I was suddenly covered in the splintered glass of a shattered windshield didnt exist to me at all. In fact, how had I gotten there? I remembered searching all around for those damned vinyl floor runners and not being able to find the right kind. Damn itI wanted those runners. I tried responding to my mom, but all I could muster was a quite mumble.
what happened?
A tree fell on the car. Are you okay?
This time I couldnt respond with words. I just mumbled unintelligibly. I closed my eyes drowsily, and felt tired. A tree had fallen on the car, two major hardware stores didnt have the kind of vinyl runners I needed. Silently, to myself, I thought, Can this day get any worse?
The next few hours went by quickly and in a blur. I was partially aware of a man holding my head, kneeling next to me by my open car door. He was talking to me but I could only hear it, what he was saying was beyond me. I remember being on my back, people talking all around me as I moved on wheels. Then I was being pushed into an ambulance, the stretchers wheeled legs bending to allow me into the back. Although my mind was entirely fogged, the notion of so this is what it feels like ran through my head as my body jerked with the adjusting stretcher. Later my body was vibrating slightly with the movement of the ambulance towards the hospital. I couldnt see anything but I was asking for my mom. I didnt know what happened to her, and I had lost all sense of time. When I awoke in the car, she seemed unhurt when asking me if I was okay. If she wasnt hurt, why was I in an ambulance, and where was she? A mans voice answered me, but I couldnt make out the words. I heard my mom answer me, but I couldnt make her out either.
After another timeless lapse of sensation, I was aware of a woman and a man talking to me again. I was still on my back, but I wasnt in the ambulance. In actuality, the ambulance didnt even figure into my logic; I didnt even remember being on one. I was inside now, and my shoulders were pressed on both sides. When I opened my eyes, I realized I was in some kind of chamber, the top of which was only inches from my face. The whirring of machinery sounded all around me, with the occasional burst of loud clicking sounds. Then I remembered that I was being scanned for something. The woman running the machine has said it would take 45-minutes. I clenched my eyes and tried to breathe. Something was in my faceI could feel it up my nose and running down my throat. I had tubes going into my face!
How much longer? I managed to ask. The response seemed impatient to me.
About ten more minutes.
Can we take a break? Can we take these tubes out and start again? My train of thought wasnt top notch.
If you move, we have to start over again. Dont move.
I couldnt bear the thought of another 10-minute session of this, let alone 45-minutes. The loud clicking was incessant and making my ears hurt. Ten more minutes, thats alland slowly I blacked out again.
I awoke knowing where I was right away. There was no moment of confusion or question about it. What I didnt remember was how I got there, or rather, what had happened that caused the car to stop. My mom was calling my name, trying to get my attention. The passage of time between the moment when I was talking with her about where to find ridge-less, clear vinyl floor runners and the moment when I was suddenly covered in the splintered glass of a shattered windshield didnt exist to me at all. In fact, how had I gotten there? I remembered searching all around for those damned vinyl floor runners and not being able to find the right kind. Damn itI wanted those runners. I tried responding to my mom, but all I could muster was a quite mumble.
what happened?
A tree fell on the car. Are you okay?
This time I couldnt respond with words. I just mumbled unintelligibly. I closed my eyes drowsily, and felt tired. A tree had fallen on the car, two major hardware stores didnt have the kind of vinyl runners I needed. Silently, to myself, I thought, Can this day get any worse?
The next few hours went by quickly and in a blur. I was partially aware of a man holding my head, kneeling next to me by my open car door. He was talking to me but I could only hear it, what he was saying was beyond me. I remember being on my back, people talking all around me as I moved on wheels. Then I was being pushed into an ambulance, the stretchers wheeled legs bending to allow me into the back. Although my mind was entirely fogged, the notion of so this is what it feels like ran through my head as my body jerked with the adjusting stretcher. Later my body was vibrating slightly with the movement of the ambulance towards the hospital. I couldnt see anything but I was asking for my mom. I didnt know what happened to her, and I had lost all sense of time. When I awoke in the car, she seemed unhurt when asking me if I was okay. If she wasnt hurt, why was I in an ambulance, and where was she? A mans voice answered me, but I couldnt make out the words. I heard my mom answer me, but I couldnt make her out either.
After another timeless lapse of sensation, I was aware of a woman and a man talking to me again. I was still on my back, but I wasnt in the ambulance. In actuality, the ambulance didnt even figure into my logic; I didnt even remember being on one. I was inside now, and my shoulders were pressed on both sides. When I opened my eyes, I realized I was in some kind of chamber, the top of which was only inches from my face. The whirring of machinery sounded all around me, with the occasional burst of loud clicking sounds. Then I remembered that I was being scanned for something. The woman running the machine has said it would take 45-minutes. I clenched my eyes and tried to breathe. Something was in my faceI could feel it up my nose and running down my throat. I had tubes going into my face!
How much longer? I managed to ask. The response seemed impatient to me.
About ten more minutes.
Can we take a break? Can we take these tubes out and start again? My train of thought wasnt top notch.
If you move, we have to start over again. Dont move.
I couldnt bear the thought of another 10-minute session of this, let alone 45-minutes. The loud clicking was incessant and making my ears hurt. Ten more minutes, thats alland slowly I blacked out again.
clara:
You write very well. I've certainly never lived through such an experience, but I feel as if I can see it happening. Thanks.