demoniacsmile

Why don't you tell a story? I always have so much fun looking back at the silly things that happen. Here's one I enjoyed, maybe you have something similar:

When I first moved out of my mother's house I was living in a group house a bunch of boys. I was working full-time at an office job and decided to go back to school. So my schedule was work Monday through Friday from 8:30-5:00 and school Monday through Thursday from 6:00-11:00. I was exhausted all the time and hated coming home to messy boy-kitchen. I started going to my grannie's house between work and school so I could eat dinner there. She was a horrible cook and made some really unappetizing stuff, but I didn't have to make it and she was happy to see me. One night I walked in and she tried to feed me a squirrel. A fucking squirrel! The thing is, I probably would have tried it, but it still looked like a squirrel sitting there in the skillet.

I can't say I relate

Or maybe it's happy because you always know where to find your porn.

are you going to The Cramps tonite...?...Trocadero doors at 7pm...i don't know if it's sold out,but we may have a extra ticket...

Why are you so worried about things like that man? Some people just don't stick with things for extended periods of time. There's nothing wrong with that, just know it about yourself. Life isn't a race or a contest, you've got plenty of time to do the things you want to do and plenty of time to find out how you want to live it. In the meantime just keep yourself happy.

You seem not to understand that every day, I litterally sit at the computer all day long. I would like to keep myself productive but I cannot motivate myself to actually go and do these things. Thus is my problem. I cannot just be happy because I have nothing to be happy about, since I do nothing all day long.

i worked all weekend...blah. i think i'm working like the next 27out of 28 days. fun stuff, eh? although i do enjoy my work.
savoring the small stuff - beer and pizza for dinner, harmless flirting over counter at blockbuster,
new music...

Hey man it's like the other people are telling you, you need to stop being so down. No one is going to be able to bring you up, you'll only bring them down. And get out more!!! Go see some bands in your area, there's millions of local bands, go support them. Take it easy man.

Have you no one to talk to in real life? If not, find someone.

i love when im leaving the taco bell with my food and some woman looks straight at me and shakes her head like i totally fucked her life up because i disturbed her view....

bitch lol

if you came to the [west coast] prom i'd dance with you. can you move your arms? shake your head? blink in time to the music? you don't need to be able to walk to be able to dance.

yeah, i'm from THAT particular morrisville, lol. the ghettoest place in bucks county. it's nutty here. it'll be nice to talk to someone local... catEWA@aol.com

o.k. MERRY X-MAS!!!

you look older in that picture.

I heard something on the radio today that was interesting. Apparently, they're ready to throw out the idea that nerves can't be regenerated. You can listen to it here:

http://www.sciencefriday.com/pages/2002/Dec/hour1_121302.html

I know it's uncomfortable to have attention drawn to you and your handicap, but we would have gotten you in there for dinner, you can bet on that. Next time just throw caution to the wind and head on out for a night of debauchery.

You've got to focus on fighting to make you life as good as it can possibly be, not on how good you life actually is. You've been dealt some really shitty card and even in the best case senerio, it's gonna be a while before you get out of that chair. I know it's difficult but you've got to stop worrying about the final outcome and focus on doing what you can.

When I was recovering, I forced myself to stop thinking about whether or not I'd ever walk or run or fuck again. You can drive yourself nuts that way. I just knew I didn't want to go down without doing everything in my power to help my recovery. I also felt that if I managed to put my full effort into fighting, I'd have succeeded regardless of my actual outcome. When I was in the hospital bed, I'd just practice wiggling my foot or lifting it a couple of inches of the bed and I'd do it for hours. It hurt and it was difficult but I figured, it would either get better or I'd get used to it.

I don't want to come off like some sort unwanted inspirational hallmark card or something but for me, it really helped to just focus on the process of getting better. Breaking my spine was, bar none, the most intense experience of my life. Most people will never have an experience that intense. If you're able to face this thing and deal with it, regardless of the outcome, then you've got something that other people will never have. I know, it's not much of a trade, but at least it's something.

Anyway, you never asked for my advice... so feel free to tell me to shut up. Good luck.


PS You're probably on top of this already but... make sure your headaches and stuff aren't from Autonomic Dysreflexia. I'd imagine that the doctors already gave you the whole run down on that shit... if they didn't, you should look it up on the internet. That's bad shit... like it can kill you.