deminishlucidity

I consistently tear shit down.. I Hurt so..

I've reached the conclusion..
my conclusion, our conclusion...

I hate... but its a reflection of the way I feel for myself.
There is no happiness nor any sadness.
there is no anger. there is only nothingness.

I push away - any hope of anything...
who could care for this, I have a hard time myself.

I've made a hell for myself.. there is no fucking ending.. but one... and Im too much of a fucking weak person for that.

So what to do.. nothing.. well even thats doing something. I dont want a hell nor a heaven .. oblivion is even a state of existence.. So i conclude, there is no fucking hope anywhere or in anything.

And what is my purpose for joining SG...

to relay thoughts to people who could care less... to meet people who could care less... I certainly have yet to meet anyone to care about or who could care about me.. and if i do or have.. what difference does it make anyhow...

I scare you? well i scare my fucking self.
I am a quantum state of decay -
I dont want to feel anything..