Still tired. Busy with school things.
Have been avoiding most everyone for a few weeks, had 2 friends call me last night to see whether I hated them or not.
I promised to visit them sometime this week. I owe one a photoshoot for her portfolio. I must do it when she books studio time.
My mom is making me go home saturday to visit my grandparents before they go back to Montreal. I do not want to go. I have lots of work to do. Assignments to finish. Life to organize. Destiny to map out in general. But she is paying my bus fare, so, I cant say no.
Well, I can.
I am so anxious for Akuma
to have her baby. It is due so very soon.
I am really excited as well. It is odd, considering I am a wee bit apprihensive of small babies and desire ZERO for myself.
I am feeling sort of melancholy again, placid and dark. Mischievious and entirely spent. It isnt really a bad thing, I am not sad at all. It is just a weird feeling.
I also realised that when I approach things I am geared to go over the boundaries. For example, if I wanted to pursue art as a "career", I would expect myself to be innovative, and go beyond the known perametres of"art". The world doesnt need another mediocre artist. I only say this, because I have been thinking about this a lot lately. In every aspect of my life, from personal realtionships, to school, to jobs. I always seem to approach things from a different perspective. I have literally 20 things that I want to pursue, in schools and as careers and in each one I am thinking of ways that I can go beyond myself, go past what is expected. Look at things differently, be innovative. It seems that I always stand alone when it comes to this, and everything else I do. I am always the one that does things differently than those around me. Instead of trying to stop that, Ive decided to apply it to everything, while still retaining myself completely, and parhaps that will gear me to succeed where others have failed.
I cant imagine anything less.
Updated to say:
Song: Wild pack of family dogs~Modest Mouse
Right Now: Tired, spent, mildy amused and slightly happy.
Have been avoiding most everyone for a few weeks, had 2 friends call me last night to see whether I hated them or not.
I promised to visit them sometime this week. I owe one a photoshoot for her portfolio. I must do it when she books studio time.
My mom is making me go home saturday to visit my grandparents before they go back to Montreal. I do not want to go. I have lots of work to do. Assignments to finish. Life to organize. Destiny to map out in general. But she is paying my bus fare, so, I cant say no.
Well, I can.
I am so anxious for Akuma
to have her baby. It is due so very soon.
I am really excited as well. It is odd, considering I am a wee bit apprihensive of small babies and desire ZERO for myself.
I am feeling sort of melancholy again, placid and dark. Mischievious and entirely spent. It isnt really a bad thing, I am not sad at all. It is just a weird feeling.
I also realised that when I approach things I am geared to go over the boundaries. For example, if I wanted to pursue art as a "career", I would expect myself to be innovative, and go beyond the known perametres of"art". The world doesnt need another mediocre artist. I only say this, because I have been thinking about this a lot lately. In every aspect of my life, from personal realtionships, to school, to jobs. I always seem to approach things from a different perspective. I have literally 20 things that I want to pursue, in schools and as careers and in each one I am thinking of ways that I can go beyond myself, go past what is expected. Look at things differently, be innovative. It seems that I always stand alone when it comes to this, and everything else I do. I am always the one that does things differently than those around me. Instead of trying to stop that, Ive decided to apply it to everything, while still retaining myself completely, and parhaps that will gear me to succeed where others have failed.
I cant imagine anything less.
Updated to say:
Song: Wild pack of family dogs~Modest Mouse
Right Now: Tired, spent, mildy amused and slightly happy.
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
nah id prolly never come and approach you, im too shy
intelectual you say... so you could write my essays for me!
im meanna be going to book myself in with a tattooist but im such a pussy im putting it off by sitting on here... ill go tomorrow im sure.