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dementia_____

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 43 Following 11

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Sunday Jan 04, 2004

Jan 3, 2004
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This probably isnt the place to be saying this..but what the fuck.

Ive been growing increasingly antisocial. I have cancelled my trip to Vancouver, on account that I dont want to meet new people.
My misogynist feelings are growing. It isnt a hatred for women really, because as it stands I hate all people, men and women, in general, equally.
It is just an annoyance really. They are annoying. Beautiful, soft and seductive, but annoying. At least 90% of them are.
I dont get it. I cant relate to most. I mean, there are times, when I act far too grrly, but..I always feel seperate.
I am always on edge around women. I feel far more at ease around boys..like I can be myself, and not hold anything back. There are always exceptions to this. As you can tell. Ive met some wonderful grrls on here, and in everyday life. Its jsut this feeling.
A culmination of sorts. Its aweful. I dont want to hate anyone. But parhaps, Ive just been coming in contact with these people more often these days.
Just today, this woman was crying b/c her car was in teh ditch, it wasnt a real accident, she was fine. And I wanted tos cream at her. And tell ehr to shut up, and to put snow tires on, and stop being a baby. This isnt right. I have days where I break down for no reason. I am a baby at times. I used to want to lick random people. Now, I envision myself smashing them. kicking them. Telling them, that they are stupid, and worthless and they should move past silly ideals and get on with it.
It is ever so hypocritical of me, but I cant help but think that.
This, is keeping me from visiting DAvey in Van. I want to visit him so badly, but I really have zero desire to meet his grrl ,and other necessary social interacts and fuck it all up for him.

So. I stay. Most dont understand. I dont want to meet new people. I dont care. I dont care for most anything trivial. I dont care for information that is useless to me.
I wish this feeling would pass, so I could go, and meet, and be merry in cold cold Vancouver.

I can dream.

My latest fantasy: See below.


Pictures from New Years, and new ones of moi are in pics section

PS: I know the meaning of Misanthrope versus Misogynist Thanks. I was talking about women in particular when I refered to my current disdain, and reasons why I am not travelling to Vancouver. Yes I know I am a Misanthrope. I dont need ppl to tell me. I was referring to this particular situation, about travelling. Fuck. Just.

Update: I was tired of being collected. So fuck me. I doubt any will care..you have others to pick you up in a flash.
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
dementia_____:
I dont feel bad.
Jan 5, 2004
poser:
Try this:

In my journel write fuck you, I hate you measily greasy phycho.

Go to a gun range, demand a .55 caliber gun and go apeshit on the target.

Go to chucky cheese and play in the moonwalk and throw plastic balls around.

Go to the best phycologist and say you are the one with fucking problem.

Go to a hummer dealership do what you feel if you were Ranger Rick.

Or ignore this and go in my journal and write fuck you, I hate you measily greasy phycho.


Jan 5, 2004

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