delores

i'm sick of pretending i'm ok.
i'm fucking not ok.
i fucking hate everything about my life right now.
i've been realizing that i have nothing to offer.
nothing at all.
i'm going no where.
i dont know what the fuck i want, and even if i did, i wouldn't know how to go about getting it.
i feel totally worthless and useless right now.
it's all i can do not to cry myself to sleep everynight.
i had to say up past 5am watching JFK just to distract myself.
i'm going to be staring up at the same ceiling for the rest of my life.
i have nothing to give this world, this society.
i dont want to fold towels for the rest of my life.
i dont want to lie in bed alone, crying myself to sleep everynight.
everything here is wrong.
maybe it's not this place, but it's just me.
wherever i go it'll always be wrong.
i think about it everyday, i just wish i had the strength to do it.