delores

yeah, hung out w/ artcticknight last night. nothing special. just talked like a pair of school girls. haha.

for some reason i feel like shit today... i can give a million reasons why i might feel like shit, but no one answer sounds just right.

i'm sick of sitting at home by myself. i want to get out. i'm sick of trying to move on but not being able to. i thought i was so proud of myself, but now i'm not so sure.

i'm getting my depo shot this afternoon. i really hope they aren't going to make me pay $150 for the two shots like the tried to do for my second shot a few months back. i can not afford that, and this is my last day to get the shot.

i feel like crying and i wish i didn't. i wish i knew why i felt like crying. like i said before, i could think if alot of different reasons why i might feel like crying, but none sound right.

maybe i start to feel like shit when i've got no one or nothing else to distract me. maybe i've been diluting myself. maybe what i'm doing right now is whats making me sad... i dont fucking know!
maybe i'm just bored and i dont know how else to express it.
maybe i'm worried i wont get what i want in the near future. and what i want isn't even that far fetched...

i dont fucking know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. i dont know.