i hate it when i feel like i hate every person on the planet, and i want all of them to drop dead where they stand. i hate feeling pessimistic and anti-social. i hate when i'm angry or frustrated w/ one person or situation, and i take it out on the whole world. i hate that when i'm mad, i talk to myself, complain to myself, bitch about the morons on Elimidate outloud when i'm alone. i just hate it when everything pisses me off, for no real reason. i hate angst, i hate aggression. i hate argumentative
people, i hate repetitious people...or should i say that i hate it when people are argumentative & repetitious. i hate turmoil, i hate fights, i hate unbalance. i hate being upset, being unhappy, being aggrivated. i hate feeling like i want to scream and scream. i hate feeling like hurting myself just to spite someone else (and this is not the first time or the first person for whom i've felt like this). i hate having "unhealthy" thoughts & feelings. i hate when i hate everything, everyone. i hate not feeling calm, i hate feeling like i have no control over situations i might be in.
but i like these cool ranch doritos my mom just gave me. i like the little visualization on my media player, it's called "water spray" and it actually moves to the music, it makes me happy. i like the feeling of wanting to create. i really want to paint, but i dont have any paper yet, so i cant. but it's nice to have the urge. and i'd also like to have my own tools, my own paints and brushes and an actual canvas, but for now i'll have to settle for my mom's leftovers, and craft paper. i like eating things that are bad for me, you know, comfort food. i want lots and lots of junk food right now. cool ranch doritos, white chedder popcorn cakes, barbecue pringles, smart food's white chedder popcorn, corn chips and salsa, triskets w/ easy cheese, frosted mini wheats cereal, plain glazed krispy kreme doughnuts, day old re-heated mcdonald's french fries w/ barbecue sauce...see my head's all fucked up right now...i need A LOT of comfort food right now!
people, i hate repetitious people...or should i say that i hate it when people are argumentative & repetitious. i hate turmoil, i hate fights, i hate unbalance. i hate being upset, being unhappy, being aggrivated. i hate feeling like i want to scream and scream. i hate feeling like hurting myself just to spite someone else (and this is not the first time or the first person for whom i've felt like this). i hate having "unhealthy" thoughts & feelings. i hate when i hate everything, everyone. i hate not feeling calm, i hate feeling like i have no control over situations i might be in.
but i like these cool ranch doritos my mom just gave me. i like the little visualization on my media player, it's called "water spray" and it actually moves to the music, it makes me happy. i like the feeling of wanting to create. i really want to paint, but i dont have any paper yet, so i cant. but it's nice to have the urge. and i'd also like to have my own tools, my own paints and brushes and an actual canvas, but for now i'll have to settle for my mom's leftovers, and craft paper. i like eating things that are bad for me, you know, comfort food. i want lots and lots of junk food right now. cool ranch doritos, white chedder popcorn cakes, barbecue pringles, smart food's white chedder popcorn, corn chips and salsa, triskets w/ easy cheese, frosted mini wheats cereal, plain glazed krispy kreme doughnuts, day old re-heated mcdonald's french fries w/ barbecue sauce...see my head's all fucked up right now...i need A LOT of comfort food right now!