Have you ever taken a moment and thought of all the things that brought you to the present or how you could have done something differently?
The what ifs of life
Sometimes i like to take little journeys (hikes or long walks) listen to music and deeply immerse myself in the song blasting through my ears.
I use to have those. What if i did this or maybe i should have done that, scenarios playing on repeat in my mind but even still, i don't truly regret my life choices. Now, when i want to do something, there's no second thought. I embrace the adrenaline of what will happen next.
You know about deja vu? Naw? google it. Anyways, i had this theory spinning. In every philosophy class I've taken we always cross the argument of: do we have free will or are our lifes predestined. (I can probably talk your ear off on my opinion of this topic but!) My theory is: if you experience deja vu that means you're headed on the right path, whether the experience be good or bad, there is a reason for it.
Years before I met my ex, who is now deceased, i had an incomplete dream with a green 5L mustang drive by me but i didn't see the driver. After my ex passed away i got to see the rest of my dream. It was him driving by me slowly in his green mustang waving goodbye. Despite the accident sucking mega bag of dicks, there had to be a reason. I may have thought he was my forever person but Fate was telling me otherwise. Whether i find my forever person or live the life of the cool aunt(single ♡) (cause you know everyone around me will eventually get married and have children) who knows for now.
Anyways, laying on my bed in my jammies and typing up this blog on a late Saturday night alone, i can honestly say; I am happy.
What are my new years resolution? Nothing. I'm going to continue living my life and take the road towards the what ifs because i want to know what happens. Good or bad. I'll be ready.
