What im about to say, i say not for the attention, but more like to come to acceptances to my issues. I have extremely bad self-esteem. So bad that when someone complements me i block it out and i laugh it off. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling like putting a paper bag over my head and putting myself down. I don't want to feel like this ever again.
It sucks (´△`).
I'll continue to train my body so i can get to the point where im physically happy and proud of myself. I want to be able to love myself and think that any man that's with me would be proud and lucky to be seen and be with me. Funny thing about me: other than my physical being, I'm pretty happy with my consciousness. Mentally, I'm happy with the person I've raised myself to be. I've read somewhere, in Buddhist belief: perfection is the pursuit of becoming the person you want to be. I'll find my enlightment.