delilahbrat

so, i didnt work tonight... i went in, my eye was watering and so sore, not to mention i was in severe pain from other things... instead of me being off tuesday, they let me go home tonight (i was curled up in the dressing room crying from the pain, luckily i have a doctors appointment on monday to get things taken care of for my many problems with my body)... there were six dancers scheduled anyway, so it wasnt like i was screwing anyone over... and the only times i have ever called off were times i wound up in the hospital... i didnt want to go home, but as soon as my boss saw me she knew something was wrong... i think in the 4+ years ive been there ive called off maybe 3 times, and the last time was when i had to get my gallbladder removed... i felt horrible... i started crying again, and my boss assured me it was not a problem, she would rather have me rest and take care of myself so i would get better and my strength back (she knows im stubborn, i went back to work 2 weeks after having my gallbladder removed, there was no way in hell i was waiting 6 weeks, went back 8 weeks after giving brith (only because dafreak wanted me to get the doctors okay... i wanted to go back a week afterwards... and have worked with severe fevers, vomiting, etc, because i am not one to call off work... i would rather be sent home than to call off... i have always had an excellent work ethic, ever since i got my first job...) *shrug* what can i do?....
i wish i would have gone and hung out at work early yesterday (but thats hard for me to do... were open at 3 on fridays and saturdays)... the one dancers friend is a piercer, so he brought an autoclave and pierced everyone who was there... my boss finally got her nose pierced, which shes wanted forever but her mom (the original owner, god rest her sould... i love you fran and will never forget all you have done for me) was not one for anything like that... so she has been going wild getting tattoos and now her nose pierced... the other dancer got her nose pierced too, and my boss's sister got hers done too...
its weird, i used to be the heaviest tattooed/ pierced dancer for the longest time (when i first started, another dancer had me beat, almost all her body was covered with random tattoos), but now, were all heavily tattooed (i have nothing on the other house dancers, one has a back piece getting worked on, the other has a huge tribal design down her side... all mine are small *pout*), with facial piercings (noone has anything on the 10ga and 8ga pussy piercings though! lol)....

holy fucking ramble batman.... im heavily drugged on pain medication right now, so dont mind me... its the only thing keeping me from jumping out the window to break every bone in my body just so i can get something better to take away the pain im in (except morphine, i hate that shit.... didnt do anything when i got my gallbladder removed... i was STILL in so much pain, and they were giving me really high doses)... the only scripts i can ever get for my pain is ibuprofin- since it does work wonders for the swelling, just doesnt do shit for the pain- and vicodin, which i have developed a tolerance for, it only makes me loopy, but doesnt help with the pain i go through....

the reasoning behind this pain is i have chronic bursitis in my knees and hips, not to mention the fact that the cartilidge is non-existant... i took dance since i was two and have been working as a dancer for 4+ years (so i have been dancing for 21 years, which does a huge number on the body)... also there are a bunch of personal things that cause a lot of pain, that believe it or not, my chances of ever conceiving and carrying a child to term is very slim to none, or so i was told by numerous doctors... (not that anyone really cares, but im just rambling right now...)

so, yes, i am a 23 year old with the body of an 79 year old woman...

okay im shutting up now...