delilahb

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone!

I'm feeling very Bah Humbug in all aspects of everything. Too busy to breath, yet prepetually doing nothing.


Delilah.

Is it wrong to start wishing myself a happy birthday a day early?

I usually like to live in the present and not really worry about the future. Honestly, I can't really see myself past the age of 24 (and considering that's in less than a week, that's not saying much). As most of you know, I work in a hospital. Everyday, I come in contact with really old, really sick people. The other day, I checked in...
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How much of a bitch am I? I promise more SG action from myself, and alas, I seriously haven't even turned on my computer in over two weeks. I'm a bad, bad girl.

I went to take a picture of myself today because I had curled my hair all pretty and I didn't have any batteries...grr...

What has happened in the last two weeks:

1....
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Wow! Wow! Wow! I'm a total slacker.

Important information #1:

I have decided not to leave the site. I will be here for fucking EVER!!!! Muahahahahahaha!

Important information #2:

I promise to talk to y'all a lot more often than I have been. Seriously, I just needed some time off. Now, I'm back and better than fucking ever.

Important information #3:

I am purchasing a...
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stupid computers...

update: last three weeks have sucked my arse. have new crush. going to party tonight. being french for halloween.

that is all.

I have fresh roses in my room. I picked them last night from the garden in the front of my house. They smell of frozen nights with hints of sunny days. The petals are soft like silk scarves wrapped around my neck and are colored by five-year-olds with their teacher's markers.

I keep them in my bathroom to make me appreciate the wonderment of color....
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I'm so fucking ready. Bring it the fuck on!

What the hell has happened while I've been in Billings? Dating profile. Good lord!

I finally ventured over to the eastern part of the Montana and have nothing of interest to report at all. It's really dry and brown and flat and not very exciting at all. We had fun though. I love my friends. Did you hear that? I have friends.

What else?

Nothing....
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November 12, 2004.

one and a half years of more than I could have ever hoped for to happen in my life.

why end it?

money, for one. and I need to focus on different things, for another.

I love you all.

Help me make my last month and a half, a grand one!

um, yeah, I'm tired of this now.

I have given up my favorite things and have found the replacements to be so much more rewarding.

cooking

reading

painting

writing

sleeping

It's not even lent, and I'm ready to rid myself of the glutoness actions of laziness I usually partake in.

I feel bold, confident, beauitful and none of it has to do with a lack...
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I must start thinking like a poet:

devouring words with red wine and cigarettes; looking out my window and seeing metaphors, prose.

I need to regain the excitment of the perfect description, the perfect verb.

I will lock myself in my room and contemplate the outcome of the sleeping pills and how it will change my word formation in my mind.