This place it left me
A long, long time ago
But it still keeps me here
It still keeps me close
When i start to break free
It calls me back again
Like the Godfather 3
I never can escape
My future has been here forever
The future's still unclear whatever
- Manic Street Preacher
Somehow today i have this familiar-trap-of-melancholia sense again...and it makes me looking back to some years ago.
About me and this best friend of mine, and every day dream we ever spoke about...and I recall, from hundreds of 'em; only one actually came true so far: that we won't work in any formal office--Ever.
The best option that sounds vaguely bright for us was; being a travelling tattoist.
So we'll be able to keep drawing, not being alienated from relation with other human in our work, and flexible to do our work while keep moving to different places!
Yet back then we didnt dare to hope much...we thought it might be difficult.
We thought we'll end up living a sad sad life we never want anyway.
Now that we both kinda make it (well, at least he do waay better than I am..), I realize we were much too pessimistic.
Our fear of failure was bigger than the matter it self.
Though it was a typical arrogant-deppresive kind of phase, I still feel that it's somehow romantic..
The other daydream we almost, Almost actually begin was making this whatever-crappy-band named "Negasi" (negate/negation)....which supposedly is inspired by Sonic Youth and Crass...some years ago.
Which so far, only end up with us making this one track.
And this track wasn't even properly recorded---it was recorded only because our former drummer is a sound engineer, and he has this idea to record our every briefing, so that it'll be easier for each of us to explore it at home.
So our first briefing was recorded.
Then we've never record anything else anymore...thus this become our only track. hahah.
The track isn't bad...well at least for me--maybe cos I've sweet/fun memory on making it; but kinda silly that we played pretty far from what we've recorded in this track when we play it live. hehe.
Afterwards, we had only played live on three gigs. In those three straight years.
And then...we scattered all across Indonesia's archipelago...until now.
I went to Bali last week to visit this friend of mine, now he's working as a tattooist in a studio near Kuta's beach.
We still talked about things "we should do together in this short, short life" while laying down on the shore sand at night.
Though we hardly made any of those...we We still believe some day later we'll make it. We might always been pretty pessimistic, but at least not about each other.
Maybe, "the future has been here forever" for me too.
Negasi on Myspace
this track; is about domestication.
How human domesticate animals, their every surroundings...and even them selves.
I made the lyric and sang, he played guitar and sang.
We Did made other songs, still on similar topics...modern life, alienation, primitivist, etc..but yeah, only played it live. And already kinda forget it how to play it again now. heheh.
We used to think that we're twins...
Like in the sandman comics (Vertigo), we imagine him as Despair, and me as Desire.
The inseparable twin, coin like.
It kinda touched me that I also made tattoo of this on my chest...hahah.
Sometimes, I think, friendship are just more romantic than my relationship with lovers...
heheh.
A long, long time ago
But it still keeps me here
It still keeps me close
When i start to break free
It calls me back again
Like the Godfather 3
I never can escape
My future has been here forever
The future's still unclear whatever
- Manic Street Preacher
Somehow today i have this familiar-trap-of-melancholia sense again...and it makes me looking back to some years ago.
About me and this best friend of mine, and every day dream we ever spoke about...and I recall, from hundreds of 'em; only one actually came true so far: that we won't work in any formal office--Ever.
The best option that sounds vaguely bright for us was; being a travelling tattoist.
So we'll be able to keep drawing, not being alienated from relation with other human in our work, and flexible to do our work while keep moving to different places!
Yet back then we didnt dare to hope much...we thought it might be difficult.
We thought we'll end up living a sad sad life we never want anyway.
Now that we both kinda make it (well, at least he do waay better than I am..), I realize we were much too pessimistic.
Our fear of failure was bigger than the matter it self.
Though it was a typical arrogant-deppresive kind of phase, I still feel that it's somehow romantic..
The other daydream we almost, Almost actually begin was making this whatever-crappy-band named "Negasi" (negate/negation)....which supposedly is inspired by Sonic Youth and Crass...some years ago.
Which so far, only end up with us making this one track.
And this track wasn't even properly recorded---it was recorded only because our former drummer is a sound engineer, and he has this idea to record our every briefing, so that it'll be easier for each of us to explore it at home.
So our first briefing was recorded.
Then we've never record anything else anymore...thus this become our only track. hahah.
The track isn't bad...well at least for me--maybe cos I've sweet/fun memory on making it; but kinda silly that we played pretty far from what we've recorded in this track when we play it live. hehe.
Afterwards, we had only played live on three gigs. In those three straight years.
And then...we scattered all across Indonesia's archipelago...until now.
I went to Bali last week to visit this friend of mine, now he's working as a tattooist in a studio near Kuta's beach.
We still talked about things "we should do together in this short, short life" while laying down on the shore sand at night.
Though we hardly made any of those...we We still believe some day later we'll make it. We might always been pretty pessimistic, but at least not about each other.
Maybe, "the future has been here forever" for me too.
Negasi on Myspace
this track; is about domestication.
How human domesticate animals, their every surroundings...and even them selves.
I made the lyric and sang, he played guitar and sang.
We Did made other songs, still on similar topics...modern life, alienation, primitivist, etc..but yeah, only played it live. And already kinda forget it how to play it again now. heheh.
We used to think that we're twins...
Like in the sandman comics (Vertigo), we imagine him as Despair, and me as Desire.
The inseparable twin, coin like.
It kinda touched me that I also made tattoo of this on my chest...hahah.
Sometimes, I think, friendship are just more romantic than my relationship with lovers...
heheh.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Anyway, i will like to see the zine, u know, ego stuff