I became a fan of the Suicide Girls after seeing them in that episode of CSI: NY, a while back. Then I bought the first tour DVD, then I joined the site.
Here I met 'the bomb' a Scottish beauty by the name of Battalioness, who I worship as the fucking diamond angel of hotness she is! Faye if you're reading this I worship you honey - you're fucking gorgeous!
Then some months ago, at the urging of my buddy Phil, I rejoined MySpace UK. I'd been a member of this net community before SG. There I met a girl named Kindra, American, pretty, stunning sense of humour and intellect and so in tune with me it's scary.
I think I'm in love with her. And that is just fucking insane because I've never actually met her in the flesh.
I want her just the same. . .
Basically I'm fucked.
Here I met 'the bomb' a Scottish beauty by the name of Battalioness, who I worship as the fucking diamond angel of hotness she is! Faye if you're reading this I worship you honey - you're fucking gorgeous!
Then some months ago, at the urging of my buddy Phil, I rejoined MySpace UK. I'd been a member of this net community before SG. There I met a girl named Kindra, American, pretty, stunning sense of humour and intellect and so in tune with me it's scary.
I think I'm in love with her. And that is just fucking insane because I've never actually met her in the flesh.
I want her just the same. . .
Basically I'm fucked.
Now, if you will, my two cents.
I've known for a while now that you might feel like your relationship with the wife is giving you a little less excitement that you, perhaps, need. This isn't a bad thing, nor is it anyones 'fault', but I think that maybe you're feeling affection for Kindra as a way to fulfill the void of excitement in your life. However, I think it may be, to an extent, harmless. Here are my points:
1. Like you've mentioned, you've never met Kindra, but feel this amazing sense of likeness with her.
2. Kindra lives in America and it would take a hell of a lot of effort for this to be changed. It would require reciprocity, which would require big changes in both your lives. Not to mention your wife's.
3. I've seen Kindra on your myspace. You're infatuated with the way she talks and reacts to what you have to say. She takes out the time of day to read your blogs, comment on your profile and tell you about her day. I predict that perhaps these things aren't happening too much with your wife at the moment, and Kindra is filling that hole.
But you have to remember; Anyone can take 10 minutes out of their day to check online bogs and post comments, but to be honest, it's quite rare that anyone you know in 'Real life' could spend 24 hours a day revolving around one person, and people shouldn't be expected to do that.
The thing is, with profile sites like Myspace and Bebo (even SG), because comments and blogs are broken up throughout the day, it FEELS like the person in question is devoting 100% of their time to you (which is what you want as your wife isn't), but in reality, you're getting about 30 minutes a day. Profile sites are like 'disposable communities' where you can choose to enter and exit at your own free will.
Furthermore, it's a form of escapism. I find escapism through music, films and the likes, but there are thousands or millions of people who use the internet to escape from their real, more mundane lives.
There's a WHOLE area of psychology dedicated to the way we portray ourselves through media such as the internet. From the way we refer to ourselves in our 'About Me' space, to phrases we use online that we never would in real life (for example, 'teeheee!, who the hell uses that in real life? But it portrays the person as cute and sweet).
SO, to get back to the real, and important point, I'm not sure if what you feel is love or lust or anything like that, but you have to decide whether or not you feel guilty about having these feelings.
If you DO feel guilty, I would say you have to speak to your wife and try to mend the relationship. You can't expect her to change herself, after all, you fell in love with the real her and you're still in love with her. You just need to address the things you're both unhappy about.
If, however, you don't feel guilty about your feelings for Kindra, you need to decide if you're going to tell her, and your wife. This one, I don't have much to say about, because I don't know either women, and I don't know how Kindra feels about you.
I hope you're ok, love.
xxxxx