deflicted

old blog from sunday 2am
y is it always the late saturday nights that i wanna to or feel like not being on this planet the most and sliting my wrist and or throat all seem like the best idea ever or robbing a liquor just to get shot or hell if i had my own gun i coulld just shoot my self in the fucking head stupid video games are stealing my gun money

new stuff
sunday 3pm
so
i am always cutting myself down at my lowest point when im all alone by my lonesome i dont know what to do when im buy myself it is so cruel to put me on this earth with the purpose of not having feeling of love for oneself i feel nothing for me i dont want to love me or care foe me isnt that somebody elses job i just want to have fun play with and suck on boobs eat pussy and make hot sweet love down by the fire to women most whites ones thats just my preference all ladies are yummy especially whiteones uh i dont love or have much love for msyelf i just want to live for someone but i dont want to cant take care of myself im llost and alone always i just wanna die i fucking hate life why cant i just die have everyone live on without me cause i never did enuff to anyone for any reason for them to care about me i dont know why i cant take care of mysefl i dont have to i done want to to i just want my tv and vodeo games and my vagina

and my porn as i must just kill myself for the pleausre pf killing my self i hate life i fucking suck at it no one willl will miss me no one cares i dont know how to fx this or anything i dunni why i just dont have the strength to do anything. every ones running around with fits of rage and anger and stress u know ur half the fucking reason u anre feeeling stress im not all of it i dont take care of mysekf im sick and tired if taking vare of my sekf for everything u, fv,f

i just fucking wanna go to sleep for ever and ever
im not trying to kill anyone any more im tired of this i want to move on but cant i cant get anyone on bro
did i mention i just i j hate myself