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deflicted

looking for a new one

Member Since 2006

Followers 1438 Following 2192

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Monday Dec 04, 2006

Dec 4, 2006
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so im just gonna jump right in...

how do u help some one that does not want to be helped? is there way of life sooo stubborn and what not that I have to abandon what i know and i cant them her? i want to help her but it seems everything i do is for not? but i am proving solutions to the problems but she does not wna to hear them....
but i am a man i fix things it is what i do. \

do i have to put up with this ... i mean all i want to do is help ....i understand the vernting but it sounds like bitching and it sounds like oh my god help me and i want the bitching to STOP!!!!!!
i hate the bitching it must stop.
i must help cause no one else will and i think this is my last chance/ hope or whatever to be happy and i love her ive never loved anyone like this ever before ...... ... what is ur advice????

moderncutthroat:
My old roomie was like this. She was depressed, and she drank and did drugs to deal with her pain. She'd had a rough life, and even a blood condition directly related to her being raped as a child... So I understand. I cared about her, we had become friends and she had let me into her life enough to tell me her secrets... she just wouldn't let me help her with her problems.

I eventually gave up. The person you want to help... they have to WANT it. No matter how much YOU want it for them, they have to have the desire to change or be helped. Otherwise its wasted effort.

If this is a girl you love I suggest you sit her down one day she's doing fine and tell her, you're committed and that to you commitment means that you are both open with each other. Tell her you love her and you want her to be happy, but she's got to open up to you. I know I put MY bf through shit, when all he wanted was to be there for me... and it took a bit but I put my trust in him 100% and things are better. Tell your girl that she has to trust you 100% to help her, cause otherwise its not worth it. I know the next thing will be hard, but you tell her your not sure you can be with her (even though it will hurt you) if she doesn't allow you to help.

Thats the best I can do with limited info... Goodluck.
Dec 4, 2006

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