deerailed

Have you ever had a dream that you were walking with your best friend down a deserted street, when all of a sudden he started walking faster than you, and you couldn't catch up? Just as you start to run, you somehow notice that he's gone entirely, and you spend the rest of the dream running after him? Then, waking up to the stark realization that you've nothing to do but clean your posessions, prepare for the workweek, and be trapped with your own thoughts in silence?

I think I've changed since all the drama that left me out in the cold with my friends... The last time I was at a social gathering, I had nothing to contribute to conversations. All I could talk about was work, how much I had prospered finanically, or the few videogames I had spent time drowning myself in. There's a reason for this; it's all I've become in the past few months... I work, make money, and try my hardest to convince myself that I will make new friends. Meanwhile, I die a little more each day.

All I want to do is sleep, but when I close my eyes is when I really unleash hell on myself.