Rice is nice, but it's just a grain.
I was going to write something long and meaningful, but I got a little distracted and while it's not like I've forgotten what it was, I've kinda lost my nerve.
Feelings are hard, no question.
Intrigued? There is more to come.
.... okay, here it is.
Seriously, fuck everything. I'm sick of the fact that she leapt ahead of me, placed her own happiness on a higher pedestal than mine. I hate that I felt coerced, and that our discussions were sullied by a desperation brought on by the immediacy with which she presented her situation.
I hate that she's still over there, and isn't online right now so I can talk. It's nobdy's fault - so why the fuck did I get the short end of the stick again?
Just once I'd like to know what it feels like to fuck someone over, and be in a situation where there's no obligation to even care.
Worst of all, I hate the fact that I could have just imagined every motivation, and that things were very easily just as confusing and painful at her end as they have been for me. It's easier to imagine she was deliberately and maliciously trying to hurt me - for the time being, I can't bear to accept that something so painful could have been a mistake.
The final insult: I don't doubt that my feelings about this will completely change (yet again) within the next few days. I'm tired of knowing it's coming.
I was going to write something long and meaningful, but I got a little distracted and while it's not like I've forgotten what it was, I've kinda lost my nerve.
Feelings are hard, no question.
Intrigued? There is more to come.
.... okay, here it is.
Seriously, fuck everything. I'm sick of the fact that she leapt ahead of me, placed her own happiness on a higher pedestal than mine. I hate that I felt coerced, and that our discussions were sullied by a desperation brought on by the immediacy with which she presented her situation.
I hate that she's still over there, and isn't online right now so I can talk. It's nobdy's fault - so why the fuck did I get the short end of the stick again?
Just once I'd like to know what it feels like to fuck someone over, and be in a situation where there's no obligation to even care.
Worst of all, I hate the fact that I could have just imagined every motivation, and that things were very easily just as confusing and painful at her end as they have been for me. It's easier to imagine she was deliberately and maliciously trying to hurt me - for the time being, I can't bear to accept that something so painful could have been a mistake.
The final insult: I don't doubt that my feelings about this will completely change (yet again) within the next few days. I'm tired of knowing it's coming.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Don't lower yourself just to find out how it feels.
Did it once and at the end, it wasn't worth it and I ultimately felt even worse being the fucker instead of the fuckee.