deedee

I couldn't write anything yesterday in the end.

I'm having a harsh time lately, I guess it's time of a "down" in my rollercoaster

Having a "work where I do everything by myself" sounds so cool, yet is so difficult to do.

I can't get no satisfaction. I don't have money issues (at least by the moment), little jobs keep me fed in everything needed. And most of that money goes to my brand, which I love... hate.

It steals my time, energy and willings. In a negative point of view.
On the opposite side, I love to work on my own, to wake up late, or to work with the moon tired of being in the sky. With loud music shouting and singing. Without boss, with my own messed space and eating whenever my stomach asks me for food.

The problem, basically is, that keeping positive attitude when sewing with a old woman who talks about nothing but negative stuff is impossible. Plus the hate that sewing brings to me. Plus riding long to get there. All to spend hours doing something I HATE while hearing someone eating my brains telling me that life is hard, that nothing can be done, and sigh sigh sigh.

That is when thinking is not good. Each stitch reminds me that I get older, that my job, (which sometimes seems like a child's dream pretending to work as a princess), that job doesn't give me anything but waste of time and money.

I just want to sell, because that's satisfaction. I just need to sell, and we'll start going up again.

And now I feel retarded, because I have a new shirt done, and promoting it here right here right now seems like begging for buy haha

So tomorrow maybe

PS. I'm getting a new haircut. New haircut, new life

MUAH!!