deeanne

And she's back.
Yeah, couldn't sleep.
There's so much on my mind. Currently I'm deciding (? Didn't know it was a choice, but I'm making it into one) how to react towards the situation at hand between myself.. well with whom, it really matters not.

I have so many options, it's terribly pathetic and sad.
Should she act strong, uncaring and ruthless? Or just strong and uncaring..?
Should she play the angsty card? Perhaps the terribly sad and utterly empty one.
Would conveying happiness or relief be a valid choice?

The worst part is, it's an amalgam of all these ...emotions (apprehensive sigh) that I feel.
I know I cannot convey them all.. but I'm unsure of what TO convey.
I don't want to give off the wrong impression.
I don't want this to be final.
If purgatory was a path at these crossroads, I'd walk it forever.
I feel so inextricably empty, but relieved and slowly finding myself again.
But at the same time, I don't want to.

I feel as though I am losing my sanity and I don't know what will help with this.
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This is twice I have left to crawl into my bed; only to return unsleepily needing rest.
I am currently listening to:
Uh Huh Her - Dreamer & Sia - Breathe Me, would best describe me as of right now.