dee19

At what point in one's life should one realize that it's just a dream? I dream too much I think and it's time for me to face reality (I'm sorry if my spelling is off it's 12:08AM and I've had a long fucking week). The idea of having something I want in this life is slipping away from me at an extremely fast pace. That pic you see there is a very happy one, but I was only happy in that moment. Later that night everyone in my band had someone to hang with for the night and there I am, alone in the corner. The one person I wanted to come to that show didn't come and the people I never thought would even show, showed up but left after we finished our set. That night everyone joked that they wanted to take two weeks off since we rehearsed so much for the show. Well I thought they joked, but I guess everyone else was serious. We didn't get back together till this past Wednesday. Our other guitar player didn't even show up, and my drummer, whom I've been friends with since high school, started talking about how this band might not last. He's in another band, and I feel like well if this doesn't work we can at least continue with the new bass player. And he said something that really upset me. He said, "I dont know if I can do two bands". Well thanks, I'm glad you're ready to ditch your friend for another band who you barely even know. This brings me to the state of mind I'm in right now. Being that why should I keep trying when no one is there for me anyway. I have no friends left save for the guys in my band and my friend Mel. They don't talk to me really and Mel doesn't really hang out with me anymore. Should I just get used to being alone, should I just sell all of my guitars and amps and just give up, and keep making frames for the rest of my life living at home with my mother screaming at me to clean my room when I'm 42!? I don't know anymore, I feel like I should just go run my car off of a short pier. ahh fuck it all I'm going to bed.