dedlyniteshade's SuicideGirls Blog

FML!!! so kayla was killed 4 days ago, i was just called by my brother letting me know my friend ross was killed this morning ,wrecked 6miles from my parents house... im utterly speechless and torn... i fucking hate june now!!! 2012 was gonna be "my year" fun, living to the fullest, ect. so far travesties have hit my life every month except for feb....
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sugar_serpent:

I'm truly sorry to hear about your losses.

Jun 5, 2012

dedlyniteshade:

i thank you very much so

Jun 5, 2012

i hope its just mania but gollygeewhizz im unhappeh with life <_< i cant quit falling asleep even if i sit for 5 seconds! so weird!

knives2meatyou:

This too shall pass. Hang in there. The best part of the low times is there's nowhere to go but up. Hope you feel better (and more energetic) soon.

Jun 4, 2012

dedlyniteshade:

thank you much

yo always have the kindest words yo!

Jun 4, 2012

one of my husbands friends died over seas fighting for our country yesterday

i hate to have to wake nick up with such news

knives2meatyou:

I am so sorry to hear that. People talk about heros all the time, but sacrificing your life for someone else's way of life is way beyond heroic. My thoughts are with Nick's friend's family and of course Nick too and everyone else who knew him.

Jun 3, 2012

dedlyniteshade:

thank you much yo! yeah its effing sad!!! and what s hardcore messed up is i had this whole thing in my head that our sf squadron was invincible almost (i knew better just wishful thinking) as much heat and horrors as they have seen we have VERY few life altering physical injuries and rarely any fatalities.. im jsut REALLY glad nicks not over there, hes actually supposed to be.

Jun 3, 2012

I dreamed of a face last night, didnt recognize it but i missed that face this morning. I hate saying good bye to strangers in my dreams

so glad todays sunday and i get to start anew tomorrow! maybe this week will be better!

what a completely fucked up day... nick is STILL asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i tried to wake em but NOOO....so im by meself once again, arguing with myself on whether i can handle this "pre -funeral setting-up for my friend... its looking like a "no i cant handle it right now"i feel like a dick for not going but i just cant take it right now

knives2meatyou:

You can only do what you can do. Right now it's just too overwhelming, I suspect. Don't beat yourself up if you can't go, but maybe you should pour a pitcher of water on old sleepy Nick, ya know?

(I appreciate your encouraging words on my blog - perhaps we are getting good at propping each other up)

Jun 1, 2012

dedlyniteshade:

anytime yo and thank you as well

, yeah im bout to go taser the hubby on the B-hole bet that'll wake em up! lmao kidding ... or am i? lmao bahh water will have to do!

Jun 1, 2012

This morning upon waking i couldn't rid this wretched feeling in my gut... i HATE being reminded of how very short and unexpected this life is. I want to live it to the fullest,go where i want , pursue my goals, and (get set of the day some day