dect4

Ok, so here's the deal. A few of us decided to cut out and go drinking for lunch today. So we're at this little shithole pub (in uniform) playing pool when this really tweaked out homeless chick walks in. She was moving really wierd (only way I can think of to describe it) like her joints were't quite right or her muscles were spasming or something. She goes to the bathroom and come's out moving pretty much normally, only quite a bit glassy eyed and she heads right back out the front door to bum cigaretts off a group of people out there.

I figure that's it she's gone. About 20 minutes later, we're about to leave and I've gotta piss like a motherfucker (4 pints will do that to ya) so I go into the hallway to the bathroom and the chick is there. She's dirty and fucked up looking and oh so excited to see a guy in uniform. So she's all cornering me in the hallway saying shit like "I must be the luckiest girl in the world" and "You're so hot" and she's really freaking me out so I'm just smiling and thanking her and trying to dodge around her so I can piss.

So I finally duck into the bathroom and think I'm safe and I REALLY have to piss. So I hit up a stall and have my shit unzipped and my dick in my hand and I'm just about to let loose when the bathroom door opens to the sound of that chick saying "can I come in?" and the piss just stopped and started crawling back into my gut. Next thing I know this bitch is rubbing my back and trying to come onto me and I'm just about to fucking loose it with the screaming heebie jeevies. My fucking dick's crawled so far into my stomach I still don't know if its coming back out again ever and I fucking panicked, zipped up and got the fuck out of dodge. We left the bar about 3 minutes later.

Seriously, seriously SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP. I hope to god that nothing like that ever happens to me again and I swear if anyone touches me when I'm trying to piss again I'm going to swing first and apologise later...



all that being said... I really can't help but