Under L. Marie
A Vaginal Question
Last night at Jones (seriously, where the fuck else would I be?) I had the pleasure of meeting yet another Birthday-Boy. I wasn't kidding when I said that every time I go there, it's somebody's birthday. I thought to myself that this had to some kind of gimmick for free drinks. So I carded him. From my bar stool.
Birthday-Boy handed over the ID, which was from a mid-west state, and sure enough it was in fact his birthday.
With the ice now completely broken and smashed, I wished him Happy Birthday and apologized for the birthday verification.
"So let me guess, you must be an actor," Because I can safely assume that anyone in LA from the mid-west who is attractive must be an actor.
"Uh no, I'm not an actor."
Wrong again! Dammit! Clearly alcohol effects my judgment and my pre-judgements and my stereotype meter.
"OK and I apologize for this next question because I know that the underlying message is how much money do you make and It's such a vagina question. Because women are trying to figure OK is thing guy going to take me to Spago's or Del Taco? But, I promise that's not what I'm doing. I just like knowing what people do cause it's usually something cool and creative. So... if you're not an actor then what do you do?"
And clearly alcohol effects my ability to shut the fuck up and get to the point.
"Haha! You're right that is a vagina question."
His friend chimmed in, "Yes that's a very Vaginal Question."
"You know what else is a Vaginal Question?" said Birthday-Boy.
All in unison, "What do you drive?".
I'm not sure how aware women are that we're asking Vaginal Questions. But we are essential using the get-to-know-you small talk in a particular order to size-up this potential mate. I noticed in my bar-fly eavesdropping that "What do you do" is usually the first one.
Other Vaginal Questions that come later in the relationship consist of, "How long was your longest relationship?" Woman want to know how long they can expect to stick around. And my favorite, "What do you like about me?" We want to see if you're shallow and superficial or not. How many things do you say about our looks versus our personality?
That's not to say that guys don't want to know the answers to these questions too or that their aren't Penile Questions. Or questions that apply to both like, "How many people have you slept with?" In which we are both trying to figure if the other person is a slut and/or "how much is 'a lot'?" But most guys don't judge a woman based on her answers. Case in point; A guy won't deny a girl his phone number if she tells him she's fabulously unemployed.
A Vaginal Question
Last night at Jones (seriously, where the fuck else would I be?) I had the pleasure of meeting yet another Birthday-Boy. I wasn't kidding when I said that every time I go there, it's somebody's birthday. I thought to myself that this had to some kind of gimmick for free drinks. So I carded him. From my bar stool.
Birthday-Boy handed over the ID, which was from a mid-west state, and sure enough it was in fact his birthday.
With the ice now completely broken and smashed, I wished him Happy Birthday and apologized for the birthday verification.
"So let me guess, you must be an actor," Because I can safely assume that anyone in LA from the mid-west who is attractive must be an actor.
"Uh no, I'm not an actor."
Wrong again! Dammit! Clearly alcohol effects my judgment and my pre-judgements and my stereotype meter.
"OK and I apologize for this next question because I know that the underlying message is how much money do you make and It's such a vagina question. Because women are trying to figure OK is thing guy going to take me to Spago's or Del Taco? But, I promise that's not what I'm doing. I just like knowing what people do cause it's usually something cool and creative. So... if you're not an actor then what do you do?"
And clearly alcohol effects my ability to shut the fuck up and get to the point.
"Haha! You're right that is a vagina question."
His friend chimmed in, "Yes that's a very Vaginal Question."
"You know what else is a Vaginal Question?" said Birthday-Boy.
All in unison, "What do you drive?".
I'm not sure how aware women are that we're asking Vaginal Questions. But we are essential using the get-to-know-you small talk in a particular order to size-up this potential mate. I noticed in my bar-fly eavesdropping that "What do you do" is usually the first one.
Other Vaginal Questions that come later in the relationship consist of, "How long was your longest relationship?" Woman want to know how long they can expect to stick around. And my favorite, "What do you like about me?" We want to see if you're shallow and superficial or not. How many things do you say about our looks versus our personality?
That's not to say that guys don't want to know the answers to these questions too or that their aren't Penile Questions. Or questions that apply to both like, "How many people have you slept with?" In which we are both trying to figure if the other person is a slut and/or "how much is 'a lot'?" But most guys don't judge a woman based on her answers. Case in point; A guy won't deny a girl his phone number if she tells him she's fabulously unemployed.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
btflday777:
Thank you for sharing this fun and wise story! But how did it continue? 
decota:
I went home like a boring good girl that night by myself.