Has anyone ever tried that Budweiser Energy Drink crap? Well, the other night my friend Steve unleashed that monstrosity upon a previously chill cookout at my friend Morgan's house. We had all been drinking, smoking, and eating burgers for a few hours, so we were all fairly loaded already. The addition of B to the E to the mix resulted in the most ridiculous conversation I've had in years. I'm talking a throwback to the "I'm 13 and I just started smoking pot so I'm going to get stoned and start arguing over which would win in a fight: the death star or this particular Magic card." Here's a relatively chronological listing of the conversation:
-Someone mentions something about a time machine
-"Dude, how awesome would it be to have a time machine?!"
-Lindsay and I are delegated to build said time machine
-we decided to build it out of Lindsay's broke-ass washing machine so it will be in some way useful
-Steve is delegated the test pilot because we can get him drunk and convince him to do stupid things fairly easily
The conversation then moves to things we would do were we to have a time machine:
-Steve would ride a pterodactyl
-we would then train pterodactyls, bring them back to the present, and use them to fuck with people
-Steve would take a grill lighter back in time and be a wizard because he could make fire come from a wand
-he would then go back to the middle ages with a flame thrower and a rocket launcher, wear a green suit, and decimate midieval armies as a dragon
-there would be historical record of Steve doing ridiculous shit throughout time, like cave paintings of a skinny kid with a beer bong, and Steve sitting on the back of the boat with a beer bong in "Washington Crosses The Delaware"
-Steve would become his own ancestor, a-la Lazerus Long
I told you it was ridiculous. The best part was that, right in the middle of this ridiculous shit, two sober girls who don't know us all that well arrived. Talk about confused. It was great.
My friend Jeremy joined a bowling league in Roswell, so we've been going up there, using his free games, getting wasted, and laughing at all of the high school kids who, just like we used to do, are also getting wasted but not legally. I learned how to do that thing where you spin the ball and it almost plunges into the gutter but then comes back and gets a strike. But I can only do it about 50 percent of the time, so my score still sucks.
I've met a really cool girl, so I've had a really good week. Unfortunatly, I think she likes me alot more than I like her; she keeps telling me things like "You're the nicest guy I've ever met," and "I thought you were too cool for me; I expected you to be with some girl with a really hip haircut and cool clothes." Yikes. Well, what happens happens. Other than that, the only problem with her is that she doesn't like The Clash, which is fucking blasphemy.
And speaking of The Clash, I got the Dead 60s cd. I like it, even if it is just a rehash of London Calling.
-Someone mentions something about a time machine
-"Dude, how awesome would it be to have a time machine?!"
-Lindsay and I are delegated to build said time machine
-we decided to build it out of Lindsay's broke-ass washing machine so it will be in some way useful
-Steve is delegated the test pilot because we can get him drunk and convince him to do stupid things fairly easily
The conversation then moves to things we would do were we to have a time machine:
-Steve would ride a pterodactyl
-we would then train pterodactyls, bring them back to the present, and use them to fuck with people
-Steve would take a grill lighter back in time and be a wizard because he could make fire come from a wand
-he would then go back to the middle ages with a flame thrower and a rocket launcher, wear a green suit, and decimate midieval armies as a dragon
-there would be historical record of Steve doing ridiculous shit throughout time, like cave paintings of a skinny kid with a beer bong, and Steve sitting on the back of the boat with a beer bong in "Washington Crosses The Delaware"
-Steve would become his own ancestor, a-la Lazerus Long
I told you it was ridiculous. The best part was that, right in the middle of this ridiculous shit, two sober girls who don't know us all that well arrived. Talk about confused. It was great.
My friend Jeremy joined a bowling league in Roswell, so we've been going up there, using his free games, getting wasted, and laughing at all of the high school kids who, just like we used to do, are also getting wasted but not legally. I learned how to do that thing where you spin the ball and it almost plunges into the gutter but then comes back and gets a strike. But I can only do it about 50 percent of the time, so my score still sucks.
I've met a really cool girl, so I've had a really good week. Unfortunatly, I think she likes me alot more than I like her; she keeps telling me things like "You're the nicest guy I've ever met," and "I thought you were too cool for me; I expected you to be with some girl with a really hip haircut and cool clothes." Yikes. Well, what happens happens. Other than that, the only problem with her is that she doesn't like The Clash, which is fucking blasphemy.
And speaking of The Clash, I got the Dead 60s cd. I like it, even if it is just a rehash of London Calling.
vanuslux:
I've tried B to the E. Way too fucking tangy, but otherwise somewhat tolerable. If I'm going to drink an alcoholic energy drink, though, I'm going to go with Sparks. 6 percent alcohol and tastes like a flat Sunkist.
flux:
Dude, you KNOW I'm riding the fucking pterodactyls.
